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deeper into solitude the hermit retreats... my feelings now... solitude is something wanted, loneliness is not... i dun like tis feeling of being alone... i wanna embrace solitude... but at least now... i wanna be surrounded by pple... i wanna be heard by pple... i wan attention... i wanna be wanted... the craving within adds onto the pangs of loneliness, unwanted, forgotten, ignored, ditched... if u can't find me... will it ultimately matter? i guess not... i'm insignificant anyway... so small, so forgotten, so undeserving... dun worry about me... i dun deserve it... ur time deserves something better... anything... it is all better than me anyway... ignore me... forget me... i'm not here... never was... never is... never will be... carry on with life... just like my presence, my absence wun make any difference... In Solitude at 2:18 am 0 shared in solitude i know it is not your fault... i know that it is not deliberate... i know you all have reasons and not excuses... i know you don't mean it... but i can't help... can't help feeling so lonely... nobody being by my side... i feel so unwanted... insignificant... alone... speed - walking in the rain In Solitude at 11:56 pm 0 shared in solitude tis chalet has proven to be a very interesting chalet i've been to... many things happened after the chalet and i for one m still trying to gt use to things... anyhow... a new couple... new singles... and new problems... but let's ignore all of tt... kinda had fun today visiting pple at work... first daniel and talked to him abt some stuff... haha... missed the chance to do so in the chalet coz he nt feelin well... then visited roy... guess he is busy... cannot disturb him... then went to look for alex (wif manfred and yong an) and wandered from novena to vivocity and wondered back home... miss hanging out wif frenz like tt... ally, gerald... must make urself free to do tt one day soon... i miss u all lots man... still recovering... teared twice... so malu... got caught by the kids... darn... they just appear like tt behind me leh... yu cheng qing - kao jing In Solitude at 11:22 pm 0 shared in solitude it has been many days since i last posted... busy with cafe b'day celebration preparation... the plans are in place... then busy with CNY... collection was not too bad... angbao highest amount: $288 from my company angbao lowest amount: $2 from my grandaunt then busy wif chalet... it was fun... esp. talking to jeremy, daniel, dominic, alex (exodus), yong an (s'porelittleboi) and brian (chant) Cafe~ we are turning 1 on 3rd march... there will be a month-long series of activites... afterwhich i will go for my NS medical checkup... then i will tender my resignation... then work till the end of my term and say good bye to settlers but not the family... CNY~ unlucky... 1.eve of CNY gt rashes till day of chalet then recovered... 2.lost my wallet... 3.watch stopped... when wanna wind it up, the dial dropped off... i need a new watch lucky: 1.$288 angbao from boss... 2.i found my wallet... 3.my grams is home from the old folks home to join us... tis CNY is kinda fruitful financially although i was not allowed to step out of my house after sunset... and i did not go any bai nian... Chalet~ the chalet's turnout was reasonably well...a few new guys who i hope will not only come once ok? did not sleep thru the chalet till the 3rd day abt 7 or 8am... haha... old liao... use to be able to last longer than tt and still have energy... now no lor... nice having a chance to talk to jeremy abt life, cliques and others... have fun playin mahjong and cards and well... enjoyed myself in the chalet... of coz... let's nt remember anything bad tt happened... and anything u r not suppose to see... like i'm a very strong person... so whoever saw me cry tt night... u did not... it was sand... lotsa sand... bleah~ and they wan the palace details... so here goes... Hou Gong: Emperor: head of the palace (SP thread)- Daniel (newbiez) Empress: other half of daniel,from TP - Bryan/Ryan (Chant) Dowager: former mamasan of the thread, became too old - Tim (solitude) Yi-Nu: supposed doctor of the palace, but actually the cleaner (kidding). high position in palace (think Da Chang Jin) - Manfred (ANALysis) Ge-Ge: princesses of the palace, many diff level, either 'daughters' of the current empress or the previous - Daniel (blunic86), Bastian (crabstick)[previous] yong an (singaporelittleboi), alex (exodus), gundam_x [current, except gundam who should be previous but wanna act young] Adopted Ge-ge: adopted princess, new to the palace - eugene who did i left out... and wad title u wan? any changes? the cranberries - zombies In Solitude at 12:31 am 0 shared in solitude nt feeling well... and gt rashes... sigh... tis CNY suck~ done a few quizes online to ease the boredom... My Personality
see... i'm bored... corrinne may - everything in it's time In Solitude at 4:43 pm 0 shared in solitude for the concerns that came in... thanks for caring... i'm fine... guess he is too... although there is this dull ache somewhere within... i guess i'm otherwise ok... things are moving rather slowly at work lately... and i'm takin more leaves now tt i had trained someone to take my place in my absence... all i need to do now is to tender my resignation... but tt would be after march... in april or may... quarrelled wif a collegue over something small and it is my fault... although he may nt see tis... i'm sorry... i should nt have blown and nap at you... but well... it happened... i'm sorry... valentine's day was spent in store... and after knockin off... i slept in store... came back tis morning and did some cleaning up at hm the whole day... sorry to those who wanna ask me out these two days... kinda distractin myself wif some stuff at home and work... Lunar new year is coming... have fun in this few days of off and have a fruitful financial harvest... i'm moody... bye... ayumi hamasaki - M p/s: jeremy... i finally linked u... sorry i took so long... In Solitude at 11:10 pm 0 shared in solitude "Maria" There is someone I should love; every person who has ever been hurt... As I look around, everyone busily hurries on by. I noticed that this year, too, the signs of winter have come very soon. Again, somewhere in this city today two people will meet and fall in love; the curtains are violently opened. Even so, everything eventually, someday, has an end. Again, somewhere in this city today two people split apart; the curtains are quitely dropped. "Maria" There is someone I should love. At times I feel very lonely. But my needs are all filled by the person I should love. "Maria" There is someone I should love. At times I bear very deep wounds. But my they are all healed by the person I should love. "Maria" Everyone is crying. "Maria" But I want to believe. "Maria" So I'm praying now that this is my final love. Beginnings come at random, but endings always have a reason. In Solitude at 5:08 am 0 shared in solitude 10 March 2006 to 31 Jan 2007 10 Months 21 Days Maybe we did not try hard enough... maybe we took each other for granted... maybe... maybe... Many of life's regrets started from 'If' If not for my job... would things be different? If not for me taking over the running of the cafe... would things be different? If not for me expecting too much... would things be different? If not for you expecting so much... would things be different? i will not live in regrets... i will move on... things have been set to become like tis... no more ifs... because we can never find out anymore... work is finally smooth.... everything is roughly in place and things are getting done... of coz at the expenses of a collegue and i... we are running the show now... and if i can't run a relationship well... i'm gonna run the cafe well... BUT after all tt has been happening in the cafe and my life... i feel like stepping down... be like last time... when i have time for myself... for my frenz... for him... now tt he is no longer there... at least for myself and my frenz... anyways... new skin new start... i guess tis CNY will be a new beginning for me... to learn to stand on my own... to learn to live for myself... SHE - Tian Hui In Solitude at 10:26 pm 0 shared in solitude | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
