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today is father's day and tmr is my paternal grandma b'day... dad bought roasted duck... guess he is hoping for dinner wif us at home... sister went out wif boyfren. brother went out for dinner. stepmum brought half bro out for dinner. all that was left is my grams and me... so we ate and he told us how his fren got upset that his family did not have plans for father's day after he made plans for mother's day... i finish eating and left the table... leaving him and grams to continue talking... sis came back shortly after dinner... brought a gift for my grandma asked me to chip in... told her i not keen =x bro came back and keep bugging me abt relative's number then calling practically everyone in the extended family so he can check wad flavour my grandma wans for her b'day cake... it suddenly struck me... my dad, who is in closer contact wif us is neglected while someone who we seldom interact wif is getting her b'day celebrated... ok fine given my dad's bad track record... wad abt my grams? she brought us up and no one ever celebrated her b'day... and my brother? he dun even remember my b'day (1st september if u r wondering... how can one forget... teacher's day!) or my sister's... just felt that maybe he is trying too hard to impress... lotsa feelings now... but i dunno how to express... i dunno wad to write and how to put it into words... anyways... Happy Father's Day dad... ayumi - moments In Solitude at 10:12 pm 0 shared in solitude i dunno wad is the third part called in narnia and i'm too lazy to check it out... so let's just leave it ok? anyways... this is the third weekend after i declared 302... this week i started working in the office so guess it is official that i'm out of the group. my officer got me replaced so i'm no longer in my platoon and everyone has been asking me why. i guess that is the bad thing about leaving. good thing i got reasons available... news of me declaring may have leaked. moses said someone asked me if i declared. if it is true, then it is either of the 3 senior commanders. told u that 'something-in confidence' is total bullcrap. i wun be surprised if it really is leaked out. but moses said something that made sense. i m feminine and soft. now i suddenly out of fighting platoon into hq with no reasons wadsoeva. people will put 2 wif 2 and reason it out. just that i believe that somewhere along the line there must be a leakage. if not, why declaring? why not depression? why not injury? but otherwise things are ok. people are treating me a little cooler than usual but well i'm no longer part of the fighting platoon and we are drifting apart. no longer have any topics common lest the past. so i'm not blaming them. and now i'm left wif the decision if i wanna stay. according to mosesm, if i decided not to then i would have to sound out in the interview. the interview is set so long later. 300608. i'm dying from the emotions of uncertainty. first was the uncertainty outside the m.o. office about wad he is gonna ask me. then i got thru it. then came he certainty that it wun leak. then it did. now have to face the uncertainty of pes status so following the pattern, things should be good this time. so i keep u all waiting. i guess i'll carry on part 4 after the interview at mmi... all these apart... kinda sad, the 2 guys died during training, resulting in a 3 days freeze of physical training in the saf. one was promoted to 2lt. but wad's the use? die liao. sigh~ wasted. bright future. side track... wad's with people singing song and posting on youtube? if u wanna post it on youtube, try to put it in a way that when i'm searching for the original singer, i wun find urs instead. gee... irritating... ayumi - no way to say In Solitude at 9:16 pm 0 shared in solitude maybe i can turn this into chronicles of narnia type... haha... 302: the queen... and the previous one is 302: coming out of the wardrobe (as in closet...) so anyways... the queen... this week decided to approach my OC wif my status slip to at least prepare him... prepared an intensive script about depression so he wun suspect anything... so i handed the status to moses and got him to talk to oc to get him to interview me... but before moses can say anything... he flared up and called the medical officer... the m.o. told him i declared 302... wadeva happened to medical-in-confidence? wadeva happened to doctor's ethics to keep it confidential? and so i learnt 'something-in confidence' is bullshit... my csm was there... so oc got him to interiew me and he was darn sarcastic... "if u decide to be that kind of people... blah blah" "if u wanna 'keng'... no saying tt u r... just saying if" "so u chui ta lam pa song (direct translation:mouth say dick feel good)" "so u be their frenz then tell them now 'look at me i'm different' (in a very feminine manner)" so he interview was like a suan-ing session then 2ic interviewed me... he told me he would wanna keep me and dun wan me to go... he will try to but there are rules so i may not get to... but he was very nice and wished me all the best in wadeva is to come... then oc interviewed me... ask me to reconsider my decision but he will respect it... asked me if i wanna stay... if i do he will try to help me and tt was wad happened... so the whole ordeal is finally concluding... i've heard tt after the interview at MMI everything will be settled within 2 weeks... but waiting for the interview is the chore... during this time everything is on standstill in camp and i do hope tt things would improve for me... kinda tired after tis two weeks of stuff happening... anyways.. will be internal posted to the office to help wif admin and await further instructions from oc till mmi review... meanwhile, no stay out but it dun really matter to me... stef - wo bu nan guo In Solitude at 6:24 pm 0 shared in solitude | ||||||||||||