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i've declared 302... there... i've said it... and i've done it! so here's wad happened... i walked into the medical centre and waited... the medic called me and took my stats: pulse rate=110, blood pressure=160/80, temperature=37.7... waited till very late (went in at 1.30pm saw doctor at 4.00pm) before i got to see the doctor... sat down and he ask me 'wad's ur problem?' told him str8: i wanna declare my homosexuality... and he asked me a series of questions ranging from having sex to boyfriends to hiv status to drugs and amongst other private stuff... then he told me i've to see a psychiatrist coz it is a normal protocol... and he gave me... 4 weeks light duties and excuse stay-in... now... i'm waiting for the appointment... tis decision took 3 weeks to finalise and 10 minutes to settle... i've taken the step out so now... wadeva comes my way... i guess i'll jus have to take it... and right now... my brother is irritating my grams and me... my grams was tellin him how we wun understand the old pple.. saying tt she is a old woman and feeling lotsa pain and stuff... then my brother decided to tell her abt the china girl who, over webcam, dissed the sichuan earthquake victim and emphasised on this: 'the girl said that the old woman trap in rumbles for 100+ hours and still survived... old woman just die... so old liao... should just go and die...' so insensitive... wonder why he decided to do tt... and now he is irritating my grams by doing stuff very very foolishly and when my grams scolded him he blamed my grams for not tellin him earlier and say he dunno... i mean he should just learn on himself... make a mistake apologise... dun blame my grams... stupid idiot... back to 302... so after tt i walked out and i almost cried... coz it is so traumatising... eek! but well i'm ok already... decided not to take up the excuse stay-in... at least not now... it is now my 'mian si jing pai'... passport to safety... and wadeva happens next... will update... actually wad made me go wif courage is the actions of my CSM... so i must thank him... geez~ stef - against the light In Solitude at 7:25 pm 0 shared in solitude after so long... i've finally got down to update... i actually missed a very important date!!! my blog's birthday... been thru a lot these days and made lotsa decision and taken lotsa actions... ended up recording my feelings on paper and neglecting the blog... but well... i'm back here again... hopefully i can be back more often... since 2004 till now... it has been 4 years... my feelings had been like a roller coaster... i've been thru a lot and seen a lot... i've learnt alot and realise a lot of things i do not know... i've changed a lot and have been the same all at the same time... in this 4 years... i've been back to school, dropped out of school... i've taken the highest authority only to fall to the lowest... i've been thru so many in these years that i realise how much i miss my childhood, being a young kid free from everything... in this 4 years i've experience love to lose it again, then find another to lose and got another... it has been a year since i'm wif zh... relationship at home has taken a toil on me... wif a home not like a home... wif a habour tt i cannot dock... wif a shelter worse than in a storm... is it me? am i thinking too much? do i wanna think so much? do i wanna put myself thru so much pain? maybe... maybe i'm sadistic... maybe i like to see myself suffer... tt is wad others think right? anyways... it is not tt important anymore i guess... i've decided and taken the most drastic decision i can make in tis 4 years... i've decided to declare my sexuality to SAF... and i've done so on the 29th of May 2008... and i guess wadeva happens from now on... i've to learn to live wif it... well... for hose who are new here... feel free to explore the memories accumulated in 4 years... join me in the roller coaster ride as more years are added to this blog... and come back often... for i'll be recording the journey from declaration onwards... tt is if u wanna know... haha... enjoy~ 保護色 - 藍亦承(終極一班原聲帶) In Solitude at 6:23 pm 0 shared in solitude | ||||||||||||