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last update.. more than 2 weeks ago... eek~ anyways... nt home now... at his place... to think of it... i've been spending more time here than at home... i had already forgotten how my pillow looks like... Christmas is here~ which means one thing... new year is coming... 2007 is ending and 2008 is beginning... i'm turning 23... i'm gettin older... crap... where did the year go already? so... looking back at my new year resolution, i realised, not of the first time, that nothing has been accomplisehed... i wanna lose weight and save money... i ended up gaining weight and spending even more money... so looking back at the year gone by... this year suck... but since it is christmas and supposed joyous day... i shall be merry and wait for 6 more days to new year's eve before i start lamenting on how my life sucked in 2007... till then, have a merry christmas and a happy new year while whining on new year's eve alvin and the chipmunks - christmas song In Solitude at 2:08 pm 0 shared in solitude i know u r gonna make noise abt this... but still... it's my fault... really... to think of it... i gave u so much insecurities... since day one when we met... to the day i started courting you... you worried about how my enlistment would affect the whole relationship but i kept giving u false hope tellling u i'll give u all my time... when we were in the relationship... i keep disappointing you... keep short-changing you... i made u angry... i was insensitive to u... i made u cry... but... i was on the end of unjustified tantrums as well... and every time u said u were sorry and u wun do it again... it keeps coming back to bite me in the ass... and to pacify u... sometimes i resort to taking all the blame which also is partly due to my inferior complex... but still... as it gets harder and harder to decipher you... i begin to fear telling you things to avoid u getting angry... to avoid any confrontations... to avoid any shit... and many times when tt happens... it ends up being swept under tha carpet to avoid it getting worse... days become weeks become months... 7 months into this relationship... a hill has appeared underneath the carpet... and every time tis mine is touched, it blows up... more and more frequently it gets detonated... and we do more to avoid the mine, building up the hill under the carpet... of coz habits set in as well and as we get use to each other in our own ways... we started having different expectations for each other thus creating more misunderstandings and miscommunication... i no longer know you... and you no longer know me... will it be easy to clear all these up? i hope so... but i dunno... will it be better tt we wrap things up now? i dunno... seems like it... but then again... i need some time to think thru this... and tis time... it is really my fault... 叶倩文 - 真心 In Solitude at 2:07 am 1 shared in solitude i must post about this... know it is kinda dumb and disgusting to a few... but tis was my dream so shoos... i was at this place where they do checks on your pee and i was peeing into one of their toilet bowls... then i pee-ed again... and again... and again... and again (i lost count)... then i left the place... ended up in some interchange or something... then i pee-ed again... and again... and again (i lost count)... the whole dream i was pee-ing... weird dream... tanya - goodbye & hello In Solitude at 9:17 am 0 shared in solitude | ||||||||||||