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lotsa stuff happening lately... so kinda frustrated... the most obvious thing is my grandma who is in an senior citizen home for rehab... suppose to be back... apparently nobody knows anything so she thought we dun wan her liao yesterday when baby was here... she called and was crying... plunged my mood down and the onli thought i had after tt was sleep... even now... sorry baby~ affected yesterday so badly... anyways... cafe going thru another transition period... i'm left the job... but coz my understudy who is suppose to take my place upon my resignation went overseas... i'm still working... and to keep me... they are now calling me the consultant... then i decided it should be more interesting... . .. ... .. . Executive Mentor~ In Solitude at 4:17 pm 0 shared in solitude yesterday was my blog's 3rd birthday it has been 3 years... from 25th may 04 to now... my blog is marching into it's 4th year in existence... tis is post note 300 first year i clocked 100 post, 2nd gt 130... tt makes tis year 70 post onli... been blogging lesser... haha... anyways... feel free to explore 3 years of chronicles... and see that my world is not as bright as it always seems... HAPPY BIRTHDAY BLOG! In Solitude at 4:01 pm 0 shared in solitude tomorrow is my blog's birthday... whee~ anyhow... tt is for tomorrow... wad's up for today... let's look at some social issue which i m extremely pissed abt... i always wondered wad is SBS policy on one person waiting for bus... was waiting for a bus at a bus stop near my place to head down to the cafe... i saw the bus come, i flagged and then turned to reach for my wallet in my bag and when i look up, i saw the bus zooming past me... *stunned* huh? i thought i flagged the bus... must there be more than one person flagging the bus then will stop? lotsa pple went thru it (read jeremy's blog for example) and tis was not the first time i went thru tt... so... wad's the stand of SBS... and seriously... write letter complain so wad... we will look into the matter... then? wad's next? u can say we spoke to the driver involved but wad good does it really do? and wad makes u so sure he wun do it again... and how can i be assured tt u spoke to him? the thing abt SBS and SMRT is tt they have very little buses competing so there is not much space and room for competition... is still pretty much a monopoly by SBS in some areas... and all we can do is live wif it... same wif their taxi system... comfort... called a cab and waited abt 15 mins waiting for the operator coz they allow u to choose ur previous pick up point, which happened to be a place i happen to be in... and not really a frequently used location... SMRT? got my cab booked within 5 mins... sheesh... on a brighter side... been spending lotsa time wif baby raccoon... but wif tt... i've made him upset a few times... really sorry... watched 'don't look back' and 'bridge to terabithia' over the week... went out and gt some stuff done... haha... went for Kumar's show just now and laughed like nobody's business... if he can go i'll ask him... but will be askin ally and cj to go for tt... in play... haha... chalet is coming... kinda excited... but sigh... after tt... i'll be enlisting... sian beyonce - listen In Solitude at 2:06 am 1 shared in solitude when no one is around to mess with operations... things can be done so quickly... cafe closes at 11pm... i was out of the place by 11.20... anyways... been sleeping a lot lately... if u've been reading my blog regularly... u would pretty much be able to guess why... was printing staff request and a realise... JUNE IS COMING!!! let's just hope the 15 days will pass by slowly and after tt... the 2 years will swish past so quickly... zzz... baby have not called me yet... i'm still waiting... zzz... his last blog entry is still 7th may... zzz... peggy hsu - bai se hun li In Solitude at 12:31 am 0 shared in solitude just got home from supper on the boss... today was fun... started work at 1.30pm... worked all the way till 3pm (paid from 2pm to 2am) the crowd started streaming in at 7pm and till 12 midnight, we are full... all our tables are occupied and our sales was about $1500... everything happened so smoothly without complains, without much problems except tis... my kitchen was suppose to close at 12 midnight... boss still bringing in orders at 12.30am... thus causing my kitchen to close late and delayed my whole closing plan to finish by two... my normal plan is: 12am last order, kitchen close 1am bill 1.15 collect all money 1.20 settle accounts, inform customers closing in ten min 1.25 inform customers we are closing in 5, finish last round 1.30 inform customers we are closed 1.45 everyone is gone, finish up washing and sweeping 2am staff is gone today due to the kitchen closing late tis is wad happened: 1am kitchen close 1.30 bill, boss decide to extend operation, i billed majority of tables 1.45 boss and i still arguing about extension of operation (but he went ahead anyway, 2 tables extended) 2am billed last two tables 2.30 one table left 2.45 last table left 3am finish up closing, staff went for supper and we are only being paid till 2am... crap... and tis is the first time boss and i had an argument over operation... and he is NOT listening to me... so much so for boss saying tt he is open to all suggestion... he keep insisting wad i'm saying dun make sense... argh~ stupid... plus a little fight i had wif baby in the afternoon... was kinda upset the whole afternoon... hurt myself a few times in the kitchen due to the distraction in my mind... sigh~ but thanks to JL and Ter for being there tonight... esp. JL for cheering me up a lot... haha... guess she will never read tis... and also baby... th silly pic u sent me made me smile and forgot the problem for a while... then again... only a while... coz i was till thinking of the incident... crap~ beyonce - listen In Solitude at 4:45 am 0 shared in solitude another person's blog i enjoy reading is dallas' blog at: http://titanically.blogspot.com his entry on relationships (24th April 07) reminded me of wad happened last year between jes, munz and i... to some extend i agree wif him... but then to hold onto such belief is child-like... statements like 'my daddy will beat ur daddy'... coz u have faith and trust in ur dad being the best dad in the world... but tt may not be the case and it takes child-like faith to trust tt... similiarly... his ideas and thoughts are true to some degree... but it takes child-like faith to really believe tt all u need to do is to understand the other party for a relationship to really work out... and if it doesn't it is due to the fact that pple dun wanna understand each other and thus fault falls onto human faith and trust... understanding plays a big part... to understand each other and to understand why we do wad we do and think wad we think... but understanding is not really the key... the key is acceptance... accepting wad u understand and wad u dun understand... i can understand why u do things that way but i dun accept it... it is useless... but if i can accept the way u do things even though i dun understand it... that is how relationship work out... and for this to happen... it goes beyond faith and trust... it goes straight to the heart... love... do u love(now... if u r wondering... love is not the bgr/bbr/ggr kinda love but universal love) tt person? if u do... u would have faith in him... u would trust him... u would accept him... and u would try to understand him... like a mother... who wakes up in the middle of the night to feed the baby... she might not understand at tt pt of time why the baby has to wake up then to drink milk... but she accepts tt and feeds the baby... if we keep to the faith and trust level without the love behind it... things wun last... things wun go far... coz when trust is broken and faith failed... the whole relationship collapsed... easy to rebuild yes... but well it ain't deep... but if u have love involved in it... it wun collapse that easily... but when failed... it is not that easy to rebuild... like the episode between me and the above mentioned two... munz friendship was a friendship i invested in with love... love for a fren, juz like the one i built wif douglas... when things go wrong... i may not understand it and may bitch abt it... but i learnt to accept it... and even though time and again u repeated the mistake... i never questioned ur integrity and never bring it up during arguments... simply becoz i accepted it... but after the entire incident, our friendship was shaken and affected and had failed... pple ask me if it is possible to be like before... my answer is no... coz after all that had happened... i failed u... but u failed me too... and the cup, now broken, no matter how well it is mend... will always carry the cracks from the fall... it hurts a lot... even till tis day... and it is becoz of the hurt, the investment and the love i put in tt is making me hold back... coz i know... things will never be the same... i rather things be as it is now... then we try to go back to before and i end up being a real hypocrite... pretending that nothing has happened... but deep within me... the scar is there... jes was a good fren but alas... it is just one of faith and trust... and once the trust is broken... the whole thing collapsed... it may be easier to build up the frenship again... but i guess... the hesitation from munz will affect how i will go about rebuilding it... and well... rather things be as it is now then me being a hypocrite... since this whole incident started wif the idea of hypocrite... and thinking abt this episode made me ponder abt how my standing wif others are affect by this incident... he might deny it... but from wad he says and do... it is pretty obvious who's side he is on... and since i've decided that i m not going to rebuild the relationship wif jes, he can keep to his end of the bargain... but i only have tis to say to u... take a step out of urself and look... u will see things u may not notice before... i still value u as a fren... i may not be there for u always like ur other frenz... but i'll always be here for u... if u ever need someone... i'm here... if u trust me... if u have faith in me... then try understanding me... why i've decided to take tis step... it is not as easy as u think... and if u still see me as a fren... then all i ask of u... is to think of me sometimes... she might always be closer to the other 2... but i do hope she still regards me as a fren... i have not sent u my birthday wishes and greetings yet... not becoz i dun wan to... but becoz work has been pretty consuming during that period of time... and it had slipped my mind... glad tt u enjoyed urself in s'pore during ur birthday... and now tt u r legally an adult... i do wish tt u will enjoy ur life which u now steer on ur own, free of ur parents control (legally at least) and promise me u will be happy ok? happy belated birthday... sometimes i wonder... how do everyone think of me... to succeed in life is to bring a smile to the faces of the people who think of you... have i succeeded? or have i failed? 飛輪海 - 一個人流浪 In Solitude at 2:11 am 0 shared in solitude one person's blog i really enjoy reading is andrew's blog... those who are interested... his blog is at: http://angel_boy.blogspot.com (first in the s'pore category... i'm second... haha)  his insights to many things happening made me wonder... i have insights too... why dun i blog about them... haha... actually i dun... i'm just saying... i thought i would make it to the light category of his list... i guess i'm nt doing enough =Xthen i wondered... who reads my blog anyway? then i questioned... who m i blogging for? then i reasoned... it doesn't really matter... this is where i'm who i m right? so who cares abt who is reading this and who is not... wadeva... recent events made me realise... it is not really about wad is happening that is making me uptight and unhappy... it is wad is going to happen... enlistment... alas... it is my turn to go in... will i survive? will i become like my brother, ill-tempered and vulgar... will i become like gerald, declared 302 and possibly ostracised... will i become insane from all the stress... will i become quiet and emo... or will i come out a stronger, better person... rising above all the difficulties... i dunno... and i fear all the uncertainty tt is to come from the 2 years in army... including the possible effects it will bring to my relationship wif baby raccoon... fear... there is nothing to fear but fear itself... all of life's regrets started from 'if' but i can't help but to be afraid... to ask 'if'... sitting in front of the monitor at 1.55am suggest tt i can't really sleep... the tingling feeling within is keeping me awake... Evanescence - Bring Me To Life In Solitude at 1:44 am 0 shared in solitude the interface is funny... but as long as i can blog... i couldn't care much... phantom of the opera is good... the effects, blocking and everything is good... just the story... hmmm... maybe coz i watched the movie already... so i know wad is happening... no freshness of the story... but it is nice to watch it wif baby... having him by my side to watch it... but can tell it is alos boring him a little... hahaha... nevertheless... it is sweet to have him by my side to watch it... my blog birthday is coming... this year... i onli made abt 70 post compared to other years... sigh... i'm blogging lesser and lesser... will blog more abt tis in the blog birthday entry... wad i wanna blog abt is a dispute in the forums... kids these days... it all started wif someone who is so childish, he made personal insults about someone in the forum whom we've all accepted in our midst... then when we stood up for him, he started insulting others and it spiralled out of hand, involving those in the higher profile (which i dun really wan)... then the thread was lock and the episode continued wif one writing in the forum and one writing in his blog... wad he wans to write in his blog is his freedom... so please leave him alone... and reading wad is in his blog... i'm choosing to trust u coz of benefit of the doubt i'm giving u... but if it is proven that wad u r saying is to attract attention and rally support for urself but not the truth... then dun blame me for denying u in the fourm... wad u wanna write in ur blog is ur freedom... i wun question ur stand in the blog... but since u made a comment about me... i shall reply... dowager is just a title... the same as giving some the title of baby, sweetie etc... some even bring in food and animals (as in crabstick and cow) but tt doesn't mean that he is a food product or an animal... please dun be so childish in matters like this... personal attacks to such extend... things said the the forum should be treated lighter than how u r treating it... i maybe a nobody and u have no reasons to fear me... but u dunno me... and u dunno wad i'm capable of accomplishing... if i die... i will ensure there is no peace for u too... but then again... let's hope that things wun go down that path... for both sides... all i wan is peace in the thread... for all of us to interact in harmony... for all my friends in the forum to enjoy each others' presence... is it too much to ask for? beyonce - listen In Solitude at 6:26 pm 0 shared in solitude end of april... start of may... end of may... start of june... mid-june... NS... how time flies... as of today... i've unofficially stepped down from my post as senior cafe executive - operations management... come 7th May, i'll be senior cafe executive without portfolio while the other 4 will have new portfolios... come 20th May, my committed work period will be over, and i'll work on a free and easy basis... come June 1st, it would be our 1st month together... come 15th June, it will be the last day i'm holding onto my pink I/C and on 16th June... bye bye civilisation... today was kinda fun... met him for lunch... then went to work... did not serve any customers till 7 then nvr stopped workin till 2... haha... lost my voice now... and i'm tired... but wanna blog... gt 1 table crazy... they sitting by the door to the kitchen... so my staff wanna help them change to a safer seat when the original seat billed and left... then they flare up and walked out... crazy... boss thought my staff did something wrong... but i felt he did very well and has no fault... boss also crazy... but today was very rewarding and fun despite the tiredness and how boss was screwing some stuff up... i hosted games and did nth else... just like i did when i first started work there... miss the good old days... but now... all of the seniors are tired and are contemplating of tendering their resignation... 1st to go is me... then is ter and za then is ken... wonder how the bosses are gonna take it... but well.. the favor is over... if they wan the others to stay and work... they have to make it our job... and to make it our job... they have to give a pay increment... anyways... all these aside... everything is confirmed... and as of 1st May 2007, i'm accounted for again... and although it will be a tiring relationship due to NS... i trust tt we will be able to see each other thru this one... i dunno how would things work out... but i know i love you... and i wanna be with you... i dun really care how the others see me now... coz wad really matters to me now is you... not gonna say more... coz u will definately scold me... but i just wanna tell you... I Love You... *hugs* ywjx - kao jing In Solitude at 5:08 am 0 shared in solitude | ||||||||||||