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lately... things has gotten worse at work... everyone is complaining abt the manager and the other managerial senior cafe executive... for those who dunno yet... there are 2 managerial senior cafe executive... in my cafe me: senior cafe executive - operations management and another: senior cafe executive - events and floor management the other senior cafe executives are supervision level and it has gotten so bad... there are many times i walk thru the door without the feeling fo wanting to work... good thing is tt one is going to London for a break and i'm leaving soon... pity the last one... he would have to bear all the shit when tt comes... anyways... other then tt... i'm pretty happy abt how some things are developing... although the status is unknown... i enjoy the feeling and times with him... it is him tt is keeping my smile on when i'm working... completed reading his blog... so now i know where to bring him and wad to do wif him... hahaha... but i ain't revealing anything till things are stabilised and confirmed... *blush* 苏亦承 - 保护色 (终极一班 电视原声带) In Solitude at 4:17 pm 0 shared in solitude are we a couple? are we dating? or are we just friends? i dunno... i feel like we are a couple, but only in the dating stage but with status of friends... wad r we? if it is only friends tt we can be... then i guess i'll just have to settle for tt... but i wanna be more than tt... love is a commitment... to be there for the other no matter what happens... i like u... and i wanna love u... r u willing? i'll be waiting for ur answer... 苏亦承 - 保护色 (终极一班 电视原声带) In Solitude at 3:12 pm 0 shared in solitude tis is the 290th post of this blog... i'm 21 years old... my highest qualification is GCE O levels my highest working portfolio is Senior Cafe Executive - Operations Management my greatest shame is tt tt's all the achievements i have... been reading a few blogs with Arron's blog being the one tt i have the most thoughts abt... how a kid like him have so much thoughts... and how similiar our thoughts can be... is it the age that makes us like that? does all pple of tis age think like tt... pple always label us as guys who r emotional and think too much... r we? anyways... i've announced my resignation... my last day at work would be 20th May 2007... then i'll take a one month break... then go to NS... and hopefully after 2 years, the military would wake me up from all my dreams and root me back to reality... i should strive to study and then work till i die... i should stop dreaming abt being in the entertainment biz... to direct my own drama and movies... i should stop dreaming the dreams i have... gt a 9-5 job... gt 14 days off a year and slog my guts out till i turn 60 when i die (i wanna die by then) but then again... will i last tt long? will Jesus be back by then? i dunno... i dun wanna know... many thoughts fill my mind... i typed, deleted, retyped, deleted, considered, typed, deleted... tis is my territory... but why do i fear? why do i hesitate in expressing wad's in my mind? is tis really my land? is this where u'll find the real me? is tis me? m i still hiding in tis world which i'm suppose to roam free? who m i? where's the real me? i'm tired... and it seems tt no matter how much i've slept... it's never enough... when reality is so tiring... i'll never have enough sleep... Fahrenheit - yi ge ren liu lang In Solitude at 3:02 pm 1 shared in solitude just realise my blog's birthday is coming... i started tis blog in may 2005 and it is gonna be may 2007 soon... how time flies... just finish watching a few shows lately... nie zi and zhong ji yi ban... nice shows... muahaha... and then suddenly i started wondering... would i make it if i would to go into show biz... i guess not... pple r good looking in tt circle... i guess i onli belog to the aj circle... haha... aaron yan is cute... in zhong ji yi ban and in the group... i find him really cute... guess it is a good thing... with my frenz like jiro and chun... i gt one tt nt much pple will fight wif me... haha... and he is one year younger than me... 1986 baby... whee~ but it also means one thing... i'm getting older... now pple in the biz are beginning to be my birth year... it used to be 78,79,80... now it is 83(hebe) 84(tang yu zhe) 85(meng zhe)86(Arron Yan) and soon it would be 88 89 90... anyways... more abt myself... fell sick lately... and totally lost the mood for settlers... dun really feel like working there already... i had pretty much handed over all my duties to zahari... mohan is also beginning to step into my sphere of control (again) and serene is getting very stern with me... guess i'll just step down and hand everything to them... i dun wanna be in charge anymore... but saying is easier... i guess i still cannot let tis go... after all, it has been a year since i started slogging there and climbed from nobody to the highest paid and position there... it reminds me of the days i'm in st john's... but unlike then... i didn't take a strong and strict control over everything... i guess tt is when u have been out and running... u realise that things cannot be done the way it used to be done... but maybe if i had been like tt... mohan would not eat into my sphere... and i would be able to do the things i wanna do my way... haha... but then again... tis is not my cafe... i just work for them... they pay me... unlike st john... i was free to do anything... coz it is after all a 'student driven' group with a lousy teacher in charge... really missed the good old days when things are simplier... i miss the times when everything is stressful but never pressing... stress then and stress now is so different... wadeva happened then is now, i guess, a breeze to us... i'm 22 now... come 23, 24, 30, 40, 60, death... time really will fly... (i know how to count... but if i were to type out everything... it is gonna be very very long and boring) and looking back... will i be able to tell myself i've done wad i wanna do? will i be able to tell myself i've lived my dreams? i dunno... i always dreamt of being in the showbiz, and of all places taiwan's show biz... i always liked working wif kids (nt young kids mind u... older ones) and i always wanna be a counsellor... dunno if i can ever achieve these dreams... sometimes... dreams will always be dreams... the furthest from reality is dreams... there are pple who make their dreams come true... but how many? well... a new song by Fahrenheit, Fei Lun Hai... i like the tune and the lyrics... and i hope those who chance upon tis place will like it too... 沒人了解 才選擇隔絕這世界 有點疲倦 已決裂的信念 白色球鞋 走不回喧鬧的海邊 月光營火 照亮許多笑臉 瘋狂畫面停留在眼前 默契卻漸行漸遠 我們約好闖蕩的那片天 我一個人向前 我流浪在擁擠的從前 複習一頁頁黑白的空蕩夏天 呆坐在熱鬧的路邊 啤酒沒變甜 卻少了傻得很認真的心願 我流浪在孤單的邊緣 懷念揮霍著笑聲的耀眼藍天 聽著那熟悉的音樂 只剩下琴弦 希望讓時間回到誤解那天 能有機會說聲抱歉 苏亦承 - 保护色 (终极一班 电视原声带) In Solitude at 5:13 am 3 shared in solitude just ended a overnight staff gathering at my work... and i realise how insignificant i can be in their eyes... adding to tt... i've been out of reach for some time wif the forum guys... and well... they had so much fun i can't help but to feel tt i'm nt really part of the group anymore... tis few days has been a very bad period for me emotionally... i'm constantly challenged to keep my spirits up... but there are times when i really cannot do it anymore... luck has been bad too... lost lotsa money in mahjong... but tt's nt the main pt... the thing is tis... i feel like it dun really matter if i'm there or not... and i desire the idea tt i matter to pple... i guess it is since young tt i really wan acknowledgements... *laughs* coming from a family like tis... i guess it is not a wonder why i'm such a crazy person... ignore me... i'm babbling... again... speed - walking in the rain... In Solitude at 12:59 am 0 shared in solitude when u gt too many things to blog abt and too little time to do it and then u find time to do it... u will forget the bulk of wad u wanna blog abt... but well... i'll see wad i can remember... been feeling kinda tired lately coz i've been doing crazy stuff lately... wednesday: overnight KTV wif ally thursday: overnight mahjong wif nicholas and 2 seniors (lost $10) friday: overnight mahjong wif KL and 2 seniors (lost $3) sat: overslept, skipped work, overnight mahjong wif 3 seniors sun: overslept, skipped work mon: overnight mahjong wif 3 seniors, 1st time ever saw 13 wonders... i threw out his winning tile tue: out wif ally, CJ, SL dinner at sakae, drinking at nude restaurant wed: overnight mahjong (lost $5) today: working @ 2pm guess i wun step down from my post so soon... enlistment notice from ns.sg: Your enlistment is between June 2007 till November 2007 geez... thanks... it helped alot... did a series of readings for my frenz... and gt ter to read for me... in his reading... i'm ready for a new relationship BUT i have to let go of the previous one first... i guess after so long... i'm still holding onto the negativity of the failed relationship... but well... i'm fine... i'm still surviving... anyways, a few misses... miss yong an (or iwan haha), times when we use to chat over the phone... miss alex, times when we float ard together miss jeremy, for everything... haha... boo! miss the kids from the forum, dinner~ i can't go saw my grams to the hospital for her checkup... she has recovered... so those who knows and r worrying wif me... she is fine... remember i lost money? tis is the aftermath of it: me: i lost $200 (describe story) grams: ok... take tis money me: dun need later that day grams: i need to borrow money paternal grams(pm): for grams: give tim pm: why? grams: he lost money, stolen from cafe pm: dun need to borrow... i'll give him a while later pm: grams told me tt u lost money me: yeah i did... pm: why u lose money? me: it was stolen... (actually it is a new habit... it is fun... try it) pm: how come the thief take the money from ur wallet? why she never take ur whole wallet? me: how would i know? (wait... r u suspecting i'm lying) pm: if i'm the thief i would have taken ur whole wallet... i wun leave ur wallet behind and only take the money... me: i dunno why she did that (wait... u really sound like u r suspecting me) pm: i'm not suspecting u or anything... i trust u... but i just find it weird... me: me too (i nvr say anything... u admit to it... hmm... u r really nt believing me) i gotta go... in the middle of a meeting (i'm out wif frenz actually) i go over tmr and talk to u abt it ok? geez... wif grandma like tt... who needs enemies... harlem yu - kao jin In Solitude at 7:07 am 0 shared in solitude | ||||||||||||