maystar * designs |
really not use to the new login format... not use to my new skin... not use to anything... somehow...i prefer the good old days when things are simplier... i miss the time when i use to be in secondary school... when mun hong and douglas and i would hang out after school and do stupid things like playing badminton from one side of the courtyard to the other, playing tabble tennis with our palm... making fun of everything we see and do... when we tease felix wif chee beng and play risk in st john room... when we all gather in our room early in the morning to take our textbook coz we are lazy to bring it home... i miss the time when i first started work... when the seniors are there and i'm a junior... when all i need to do is host, serve drinks and make drinks... when the managers sit down and play games like pig pile, risk, st petersberg with us... when we really end by 2.00am and no delays... when i no need to be the one responsible for the door, the food order, the operations and wad not... i miss the time when i first knew a lot of my friends... when i had the time to spend with them... and to talk to them and to share everything with them... and to hear them call me... talk to me... and wanna know how things are with me... when all we talk about brings laughter and memories... i miss the time when we were first together... when you always wanna hold my hand... when u are excited by the sight of me... when we always wanna be together despite our tiredness... when we spend on each other so abundantly... i miss the time when i'm younger... when my mum is around... and whenever i cry... she will pat me lightly on my back and assure me that everything is alright and that there is nothing to be afraid of... i miss the good old days... as time progress... friends drifted apart... memories faded... everything seem to want a share of ur time... misunderstanding arose and relationships torn apart... pple change... i change... in tis age and in tis time... even i become lost in my own world... how many of you know the real me... who and wad i really am and wan... They always said I was a strong child. They praised me, saying "you must be strong, not to cry." The more people said things like that, the more even laughing became agony. I didn't want those words at all. So I pretended not to understand. . in the darkest moments when i'm all alone my thoughts run wild, my feelings run free tears flow like waterfall as nobody takes notice till in denial when i tell myself it's fine, it's ok, there's nothing to worry delusions comforts, assuring and soothing me . Who says that men must be happy. As if happiness is a choice. The sky is so dark, it seems it wouldn't be bright again. It doesn't matter, then, if there is a tomorrow. . Stanley Huang Li Xing - Ni Shen Bian
In Solitude at 3:21 am 0 shared in solitude A new year, a new blog layout, a new beginning... i guess i'll never leave the dark, gloomy blogskin designs... maybe i will... but not so soon... nt till i'm able to really feel happy when i'm alone... well... finally did the migrate as well to the new blogger and i guess it is nt tt bad afterall... nt much of a diff... i edited tis skin frm its original state to wad it is now... i feel proud of myself... haha... but it cannot be view properly on firefox... IE can see it in its best view... sigh~ i know the color sucks and stuff... but till i can figure out wad #808080 is and how to change it to something i like and is nice... it'll stay tis way... sick now... and thus unable to meet him till i recover... tis suck... Harlem Yu - Jie Bu Diao In Solitude at 4:28 am 0 shared in solitude tis is the 271st post of the blog... the first in 2007 and looking back... i realised... my first post of 2006 was post 154 on 3rd Jan 06 as well... haha... spent christmass weekend and the long new year weekend at work... had no life and no time for anyone... even myself... sitting down in front of the monitor feeling nt so well... bad day today... woke up late, clock in late but well survived it and had pretty good results in terms of sales and how the cafe was ran... so here i m... and i decided to take a trip down memory lane and look at my 06 as a whole... after finally finding some time to quiet down and reflect 2006 has been a fairly good year... i guess the key event of the year was meeting thomas and knowing him and being with him... many things happened between us in this year, lotsa unhappiness, disagreement and quiet moments... yet filling tis year up was also happiness, understanding, presence and quality moments... begin to realise tt i can't really see life without him... but well... i'm independent... we dun rely too much on him... maybe he on me when he ask me to pay for his stuff... but well... nt much also... another key event of the year was the great 'earthquake' in my circle of frenz... lotsa major shifts to it and pple who were close are no longer close... pple who are far got closer, saw a different side to many of my frenz and revealed a different side to many of frenz... also a major happening was the job i took from march and i'm gonna complete 1 year soon (can't wait... coz it means it is our 1st year together too) and rose thru the ranks to a position tt requires me to run the cafe... had my ups and downs there... had lotsa fun running it and learning stuff... lotsa fun wif the collegues and customers... the biggest disappointment came from school... when i gt expelled by SP coz i failed my construction module 3 times... and the NS checkup was projected to be on the 9th of March... another disappointment was the trust and benefit of doubt i expect coming from some frenz but did not come, thus causing the 'earthquake' others include my recent craze in WoW, the terrible fall of my grams (who is still in hospital) and the recent death of my granduncle and thomas' grandma... 2006 had proven to be a rather eventful year, fruitful yet tiring and i began to take life wif a bigger pinch of salt... and one step at a time... misery is not really in my dictionary right now and death is kinda far from my mind... found the inner child in me and had been entertaining him and thus, matured yet grew younger... i guess in tis new year... it is onli logical to take time off and thank all tt had made a difference in my life: for those who influenced me positively... thanks for being a beacon... u may think tt u did not do much... but u indeed had helped me thru the dark moments of life... i'm thankful for the company, trust and understanding displayed... for those who influenced me negetively... thanks for helping me see the dark side of life... for helping me realise tt the bed of roses actually have thorns... for teaching me tt not all pple can be trusted no matter how they carry themselves... i'm thankful for the lessons... and in tis new year... i resolve to nt have any resolutions... if i wanna do it... just do it... (well seriously... it is coz i never completed any of the resolutions set in 2005 tt i really give up) have a Merry 2007 my friends... and hopefully when 2008 come and Beijing host the Olympics, u will still be my friend... despite all tt had happened... and hopefully by then thomas and i will be celebrating our 2nd year together... Speed - One More Dream In Solitude at 7:15 am 0 shared in solitude | ||||||||||||