maystar * designs |
darn tired of the many things tt is happenening... never thought being a full timer is such tiring task... if u dun do ur job u gt scolded by the 'seniors'... if they dun their job... u r expected to do it for them... if u dun... u will gt scolding from the management... u do too much u gt scolded for being dumb and spoiling pple's mood... if u dun do at all u gt scolded for nt doing ur job... after a few staff left and that group became the main group of seniors... i feel tt i m really picked on... i dun really feel like before when i really belong with the previous group... sigh... i mean yes... tt group makes fun of me too... but then they make fun of everyone in the name of fun and everyone gt their fair share of being poked at... tis group... welll onli i gt poked at... they remain the 'unpokable'... well... as much as i say i dun care... i dun really like it... i feel very detached lately... the other day when i went to the sgboyx SP thread... i really felt tt i no longer belong there... i really feel so detached... call me sensitive... be annoyed at me for feeling tis way... but i can't help but to feel tt i m nt important... tt i m nobody... when i run activities... no one much bothers to reply... when i say something no one really cares... no one really bothered abt the mamasan status... then i announced i m abdicating to another person and now tt person gts all the attention... i know wad u r all gonna say... we dun feel tt way... tim thinks too much... he is too sensitive... he is always like tt... so moody... and so on... but really... call me egoistic... or label me with no confidence... but all i wan is some assurance and encouragement to make me feel tt i belong... tt i m useful... growing up in an environment when no ackowledgement is given will result in two things... either a person who no need any acknowledgements at all... or a person who will constant crave for ackowledgements... i m the latter... i dun like being picked on... poked at or put down all the time... even in the name of fun... yes i do it to myself sometimes... but when i stop or when i start to become uncomfortable... it means tt's the limit... many pple dunno my limit... and i m being pushed... i dun like it... i'm tired... ye qian wen - zhen xin In Solitude at 1:33 am 0 shared in solitude | ||||||||||||