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darn tired of the many things tt is happenening... never thought being a full timer is such tiring task... if u dun do ur job u gt scolded by the 'seniors'... if they dun their job... u r expected to do it for them... if u dun... u will gt scolding from the management... u do too much u gt scolded for being dumb and spoiling pple's mood... if u dun do at all u gt scolded for nt doing ur job... after a few staff left and that group became the main group of seniors... i feel tt i m really picked on... i dun really feel like before when i really belong with the previous group... sigh... i mean yes... tt group makes fun of me too... but then they make fun of everyone in the name of fun and everyone gt their fair share of being poked at... tis group... welll onli i gt poked at... they remain the 'unpokable'... well... as much as i say i dun care... i dun really like it... i feel very detached lately... the other day when i went to the sgboyx SP thread... i really felt tt i no longer belong there... i really feel so detached... call me sensitive... be annoyed at me for feeling tis way... but i can't help but to feel tt i m nt important... tt i m nobody... when i run activities... no one much bothers to reply... when i say something no one really cares... no one really bothered abt the mamasan status... then i announced i m abdicating to another person and now tt person gts all the attention... i know wad u r all gonna say... we dun feel tt way... tim thinks too much... he is too sensitive... he is always like tt... so moody... and so on... but really... call me egoistic... or label me with no confidence... but all i wan is some assurance and encouragement to make me feel tt i belong... tt i m useful... growing up in an environment when no ackowledgement is given will result in two things... either a person who no need any acknowledgements at all... or a person who will constant crave for ackowledgements... i m the latter... i dun like being picked on... poked at or put down all the time... even in the name of fun... yes i do it to myself sometimes... but when i stop or when i start to become uncomfortable... it means tt's the limit... many pple dunno my limit... and i m being pushed... i dun like it... i'm tired... ye qian wen - zhen xin In Solitude at 1:33 am 0 shared in solitude it has been almost a month since i last updated... lotsa things happened in this one month... i switched full time officially on 1st october and abt half a month later... i'm regretting it... wif all the things i'm expected to do and the responsibility on me and the nags and blames i get... sheesh... i gt to have a rather intimate talk wif benny and i really enjoyed the talk... i must find one day to sit down and really talk to him... maybe after the exams when i have no pressures wadsoeva... i managed to enjoy myself wif the simple pleasures of life... and to feel a little better after so much tt had happened... made the decision to leave the SP thread...my reign is over... it is time for the youngsters to take over the thread and let them run the show... i'm no longer in SP and i will still join them... but the thread is not really where i should belong... afterall tt i've done... it feels to me tt i'm just like any other person and when the time is ripe for u to back off... u would have to back off gracefully... many times... all tt i'm doing... i really feel like i'm trying to show off or something... and lately tis one song is on loop coz tt is really how i'm feelin... 陈洁仪 - 炫耀 我不知该说什么好 你的来去一直都没有预兆 这次你是带着笑还是藏着刀 别那样又用拥抱当酬劳 别那样用玩笑当圈套 我只求一个人一点自尊和骄傲 我不知该做什么好 这一切真的从没有预兆 这次你又带着笑 而我只想逃 也许是你要的我不想要 也许是你要的我做不到 所以我一个人用空白填未来当作炫耀 没有后悔没有争吵再也不要苦苦的计较 就算瘦了也没什么不好话变少也很好 没有泪水没有煎熬 再也没有人让我吃不下睡不着 心碎了我还炫耀 我不知该做什么好 这一切真的从没有预兆 这次你又带着笑我还是想逃 也许是你要的我不想要 也许是你要的我做不到 所以我一个人用空白填未来当作炫耀 没有后悔没有争吵再也不要苦苦的计较 就算瘦了也没什么不好话变少也很好 没有泪水没有煎熬 再也没有人让我吃不下睡不着 心碎了我还炫耀 受伤的字眼搁浅在唇边不要你悱恻敷衍 没有后悔没有争吵再也不要苦苦的计较 就算瘦了也没什么不好话变少也很好 没有泪水没有煎熬 再也没有人让我吃不下睡不着 心碎了我还炫耀 however... days are fun and work is fun though tiring... it is sad to see guys whom i enjoy workin wif going to the army... but well... i m sure we will keep in touch... i need to sleep... tmr full... saturday full... have fun guys... i'll try to have fun... happy 7th month baby... 8th month coming!!! 陈洁仪 - 炫耀 In Solitude at 2:51 am 0 shared in solitude | ||||||||||||