maystar * designs |
Time goes by so slowly when u r not in a good mood... Time flies when u r enjoying it... Time speeds when u r desperately hoping for more time to get things done... Things are getting better... Dar msged me the other day... askin wad color i like and wad flowers i prefer... my grams is feeling better and it is no longer tt emotional draining to see her... things was bad... when i first visited her in the hospital i really wanna cry... the night before when she first fell and in tt pain... i could not stop crying... then seeing her in the hospital i tried to supress my tears... i called the first person in mind... he sound so distant... it hurts so much... thru the next few days it was pure pain... and the desperate attempt to hide tt pain... to let everyone know i'm fine... i've fallen ill now... the headache... the sore throat... the desire to sleep in coz of the weakness i'm feeling... yet it is also tis coulpe of days when things are improving... my drama lesson was ok... i made improvements according to Benny... i m beginning to release myself... a little at a time... not enough but a good start... my hyflux play was ok... i performed to the whole sch in east spring sec and altho i fell and it hurt... i was able to carry on the play wif more energy... it was a little better than before and there is room for improvement... but nvrtheless it is a good step ahead... my grams is able to talk wif more energy and not feel nauseous and weak all the time... altho it hurts to see her in pain when she tried to move... the cast seem to make it less painful for her... and she was able to nag at me... how i miss it altho i dun really like it... somethings however dun change... my brother for example... woke up late then called his officer to tell him tt he needs to take urgent leave coz grams is transferring from CGH to St Andrew's Com Hospital... i remember clearly the responsibility is mine... but since he wanna do it... fine he can... so i woke up a little later to settle the waiver application from the polyclinic... then went to the hospital... he was like "you have no idea how much work i've done for her" tt really pissed me off... 1. why call her cheebye and stuff when she is at home and not respect her and do work for her... why blame her for making u late when she ask u to eat lunch she already prepared 1 hr beforehand when it is u who refuse to seperate urself frm the computer... 2. it is suppose to be my job... i nvr force u to take it... why sound like it is my fault tt u r doing it... u woke up late and used grams as an excuse and now u r blaming me... i m suppose to do it not u ok... since u wanna do it... dun blame me for it... 3. so u have been doing things for her and i've not been... i have been running ard from marine cres to marine parade polyclinic and then to St Andrew's while u just went from CGH to St Andrew's which is simply seperated by a bridge... the sun at the time i was doing my moving ard was hot, glaring and the bus was so freaking hot... so wad u do is work and i'm doing nonsense? FUCK~ tanya chua - yellow In Solitude at 3:47 pm 0 shared in solitude | ||||||||||||