maystar * designs |
i have nt cried for so long... the last time was on our 2nd month... it has been abt 2 weeks since we have nt spken to each other... i sent him 3 msgs... i guess it is too little... i wanna give him his break... but i dun wanna leave him alone... i dunno wad to do... the worrying... the longing... the missing... time is a great healer, yet also a great pain... as time goes by... wounds recover and longing deepens... hurt forgetton but pain replays... numbs the senses yet makes feelings more sensitive... time... oxymoronic... i've been doing a lot of work lately... CDAC, Settlers, School Eduplay and beginning to try to numb myself... yet... the longing makes it harder to leave him alone... all have been ok though... got some work completed but have not been feeling too well... the pain is eating into my very being... and it is worsen by the fact tt my b'day is coming... my 21sr b'day... and thinking back... i dun really have much frenz... how many would call me on their own initiative? Ally and Doug only... and Royston, Dominic and Bastian who would MSN me once in a while... no other fren would contact me if i dun contact them... why must it be me who takes the first step? why can't we share the responsibility? why is it always me who must go contact u if something happens (ok... tis is history... i shan't brig it up)... all i wan is frenz... frenz who would remember me once in a while and call me out for tea and a chat... is it too much to ask for? i'm nt even asking for anyone to be there in my lonliest times... just to call me and have a short chat... to perk my day... to tell me ur troubles, feelings and thoughts... and listen to me whine and joke... ignore me... i'm used to it anyway... gotten the list of schools for the play... Isaac: i'm going to FTPSS Sher: i'm going to compassvale watch out for me ok? speed - walking in the rain In Solitude at 2:38 am 0 shared in solitude | ||||||||||||