maystar * designs |
I just cried if it is of any concern to anyone here... i was thinking of a lot of things today... being in a tired and sick mode i had the 'luxury' of not going to school (without an MC but i dun care... dun even start... not now) and staying at home... then i started thinking of dar... and i really missed him... and then it started... i thought about the people around me... Huishan and Bing Liang once said tt i have alot of frenz coz once a week gt someone who come and visit me at my work... but seriously... how many of them are really close... i feel so lonely... Douglas, Ally, Jeslyn, Trina are pple who had seen me thru my darkest moments... i know... at least i got pple to see me thru those times... but well... let's just say i'm greedy... and this is not enough... Douglas and I know tt we r not on each others' top position in times of trouble... but we know tt we r always in each others' list... Ally gt her stead to be busy wif and i'm just too occupied to meet her and stuff... Trina is in Australia... Jeslyn has to work and when she is free i'm not... and i really feel i had let down tis 4 close pple in my life... i had not been doing my part as a fren to them... Dallas, Roy, Sher, Timo are pple who i really have fun with... hanging out with them makes me forget abt my problems... but truth be told... they are really just kids and not tt i dun trust tt they can't handle problems and r not matured... coz they really are more mature than pple of tt age i know... but they are afterall kids... and i dun wanna burden them... and i feel tt i had let them down too... i've not really been a sporting fren and i know tt i had pissed them off many times... Baby... i miss him... i miss spending time with him... i cannot even remember when was the last time i'm with him alone... when he gives me all his attention... when he apologise over every small things... when he always smile at the sight of me... and i miss all these... now he is either too busy or not really in a good mood... i know i'm suppose to stand by him and give him my all but i'm greedy.,.. i'm selfish... i'm afterall half woman... and i desire tt attention... i know... i've not been doing my own share of the effort in the relationship... and i can't expect too much... and i had let him down too... all these made me think... if they had not known me... would things be much better? would their lifes be easier... maybe... somehow i feel tt i've been a very bad fren and partner... and well if u r concerned and wanna know... tt's the reason why i cried... it is kinda dumb i know... but well tt's me... ~*-*~ leave me be... i'll be fine after a while... dun worry... i think and cry then i'll be fine... nothing a little crting can't fix... i guess tears are good... it ease the pain within... ~*-*~ school has been slack in the first week... coz a lot of basic stuff tt i 'm fine with... so this week on gonna be serious wif my lessons... coz things are gonna pick up... working has taken a toil on me... and i'm very tired... but i guess i'll get used to it... drama classes starting tmr... excited~ (yes... i'm trying to make myself sound ok so you would quit worrying... ) the observatory - this sad song In Solitude at 12:28 am 0 shared in solitude | ||||||||||||