maystar * designs |
As days become months and months become years... i slowly lost faith in the structure of the family... These few days were very fun days as we spent as much time as possible with Trina to keep her company... met her with Deb to intro her to each other and glad they have a nice time chatting and knowing each other... now i m sure they will have each other for comapny in Sydney and things will not be so bleak for Deb and boring for Trina... met Trina,Jes,Munz,Sumei for Suki as her farewell dinner... had fun chatting chilling and eating then off they go to MoMo while i head home... met Jes,Trina at Trina place on Friday to chill and really talked and chatted... saw Jes' gift to her and was really marvelled by it... got a letter from her and spent the last few hours singing, chatting and laughing... see her off with her family and watched her go in... i was suddenly wondering... when i go over to Australia... who will be there to see me off? will i cry? how would things turn out? i did not write much in the card i gave her... apparently i feel that there is a next time and we will meet again... there is no need to write too much... but also becoz the feeling of being lost of words overwhelms the desire to write more... after seeing her off... i had retail therapy and within 10 min i spent 30SGD Deb's turn is coming soon... slowly... people are going overseas or drifting away from me... i really feel that there are lesser and lesser people to really talk to and share problems with... Suddenly... the plan of going to Sydney to do Drama and Socialogy seems like an escape from the family and the upset feelings building up... After Trina is gone... it feels like there is an outlet less to release anything within... things will be different... not as fun as before... but well... i will look forward till she comes back... then look forward to me going over to Sydney to study... i m anticipating 21 years old... i dunno... tt age feels like freedom... it feels like then i can officially ignore the unwanted birthright and responsibility from my brother... i feel lost... i feel painful within... and with her departure... something was ripped from within me... i wanna escape... iwanna run... and i hope 21 will give me the mental release first... 202 days from today... the countdown's etting closer everyday... something i m using to move on... i'm babbling... 平凡幸福-张玉华 In Solitude at 6:57 pm 0 shared in solitude | ||||||||||||