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I wrote a journal regarding my frenz incident for my interpersonal communication module and having just complete it i decided to post it here... u know who u r... names of those involved have been changed to protect them blah blah blah... so here goes: Chris and Patrina are good friends for five years. They had known each other through some dance club and had been best of friends since. Patrina has a very good friend, Leann, whom she knew for ten years. Lately, Patrina felt that she has been getting signals from Chris and assumed that he liked her. Patrina told some of her friends regarding these signals. When confronted by Patrina’s friends, Chris denied liking her. However, Patrina continues getting signals from Chris. On Leann’s birthday, Patrina and Leann had a written conversation regarding Chris’ signals to her. In it, Patrina wrote about her feelings to the things Chris had done and how she read those as signals from him. Without the approval or knowledge of Patrina, Leann sent the letter to Chris, asking him to read it and give her (Leann) a reply to what he read. On the day Chris got the letter, he had just returned from guard duty and was very tired. After reading the letter, he felt very misunderstood and very upset as he had told many of her friends that he is not keen in her romantically. Adding on to that, he had a very long night without much sleep. Being tired and angry, he blew his top and decided to cut of all ties with Patrina, without Patrina knowing what had happened. He told Patrina that he wants to end the friendship and do not want to hear from her again. Soon after, Patrina got news of what happen from their mutual friends, Jessica and Titus. She was very upset that Chris read the letter, which she regards as her diary, and that Chris decided to take that course of action. She felt very embarrassed now that Chris knows something that she prefer to keep to herself. She decided to cut all ties with Leann as she felt Leann had betrayed her. This matter can be approached from three different people: Leann, Patrina and Chris, looking at their thoughts, emotions, actions and consequences. Leann, after the written conversation, thought that Chris is really wrong in denying any attraction towards Patrina She assumed that Chris is really interested in Patrina. She felt injustice for Patrina. She felt upset, as her good friend had a liking for Chris and Chris is sending signals to her, yet dare not admit that he likes her. Thus, she decided to take actions into her own hands. After getting Patrina’s feelings to the whole episode, she sent the letter to Chris, hoping that Chris, after reading the letter, would awake and admit to liking Patrina. However, the plan backfired and made Chris pretty upset over the whole issue. This caused the friendship between Chris and Patrina and the relationship between Patrina and Leann to break. I feel that Leann should not have take things into her own hands. Even though she had the interest of Patrina in mind, she should not have sent something so private and entrusted into her hands to someone else, especially if the content was targeted at that somebody. Patrina have misread actions of Chris to be signs that he likes her. She started to assume Chris likes her. As her feelings for Chris developed, she allowed these thoughts to continue to grow. As the thoughts grew, her assumption got stronger. After exchanging the written conversation with Leann and having the conversation sent as a letter to Chris, she thought that Chris has seen the worst side of her. She thought that having seen her deeper secrets, she would not be able to face Chris. Thus her feeling of embarrassment and self-condemnation grew and she decided not to face Chris. Also, she thought that a third party should not read something so private. Having entrust something so private to her best friend and yet she betrayed that trust to send it out to someone else, she thought that her friend had not really put her in regards. She felt very unjust. She felt that if anyone should be angry, it should not be Chris. She thought that Chris, being her good friend, should have told her about it. Yet, just because Leann told him not to, he decided to keep mum. She thought he was wrong to do that. This made her angry and she felt furious about how her friends can treat her as if she is nobody and her privacy can be compromised. Thus she decided to cut all ties with both Chris and Leann. I felt that Patrina had been too sensitive regarding some of the signals from Chris. She should have approached Chris and have a talk about the signals she is getting instead of keeping it to herself and developing the thoughts and feelings. After what had happened, she should give Leann a chance to explain herself and also to meet up with Chris and explain things and talk things through. She should not be ashamed of her feelings and should face the both of them as herself, not being embarrassed about anything. Chris, having gone through a very long night in army, had returned home feeling very tired and in a bad mood. Having reading the letter in that condition, he had felt rather angry. He had been telling people that he is not romantically interested in Patrina and now he received a letter that seemed like a judgment. He felt accused as the things in the letter is not hoe he really feels and why he reacted the way he did. Feeling tired of all these and being upset that he had been accused, he decided to end the whole episode once and for all. He thought that by cutting ties with her, there would be no more misunderstanding from Patrina or any of her friends. He felt justified with the decision and in his fit of anger, thought that it is the best way out. Thus he told Patrina, through Jessica, that he never wanted to hear from him again. I thought that Chris could have handled the situation more maturely. He should have informed Patrina about the letter despite what Leann told him. He should have taken a breather to really consider why people would misunderstand him and then meet Patrina to clear the misunderstanding. Instead of being angry with Patrina, he should have seen her as an innocent party as she did not know what had happened. He should have at least told Patrina that she had misunderstood him about the things he had done instead of cutting ties to clear the misunderstanding. After all that had happened, I feel that he needs to sit down face to face with Patrina to clear the misunderstanding. When immediate thoughts are allowed to fuel any emotion, normally drastic things would happen, like the incident in this journal. I think that all three parties should really consider how to rectify the problem now, checking their thoughts and emotions then and the actions that they have taken based on those thoughts and emotions. I feel upset that things had taken such a turn, as they are really close with each other. They should try and understand the emotions and thoughts of each other and then solve the problem. *~*~*~*~*~* so these is my view and feelings regarding the situation... those involved, read it and comment in my comments ok? if anyone has anything to say u can also post in my comments... i hope i can get good results for this journal... thank God it is a practice piece... she will mark it and give it back, tellin use how to improve it for the final submission... i really need comments coz i dunno how to write it... haha... from now till 7 i have to stay awake... wad should i do? porn or blog/web surfing??? 蔡健雅(Tanya) - 无底洞(Bottomless pit) In Solitude at 4:59 am 2 shared in solitude | ||||||||||||