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Christmas is a time of thanksgiving and as i sat and considered how i wanna write this... i came to a painful conclusion... i reckon myself to be a rather sincere person and a fren who tries to be there for one as much as i can... as much as possible i avail myself and put in efforts to build up frenship... i see myself not as the best fren but as a preety good fren to those who consider me one... but... i just dun get it... why do so many pple dislike me and choose me as secondary back up plan... onli if i cannot get anyone then i come to u... i deserve better than that right? i survived my sec sch with onli a handful of frenz... when i step into TP i have the whole class disliking me and not wanting to tok to me except for 1 or 2 pple... when i step into SP i got the warth of my class rep and thus almost the whole class keeping their distance except for 3 gals whom i do project with... when i join 21 for lesson i got outcast and stabbed and now the whole class ignores me... wad did i do wrong? nevertheless there are people who had been there... and i really wanna take this season of thanks giving to really appreciate them verbally (or in words) Douglas: you had been there the most and even though things are different and we no longer share things like how we use to... i know tt u will still be there for me... u may not be here when i need u but i know u will be there... Ally: sometimes i really dunno wad i can do without u... u had been a great support and one tt i turn to when i need help... Jes: you had been open and sharing ur life with me... u have been there tolerating my nonsense... Tim: u seen my ups and downs... u heard my whining... yet u never turn away... Ashton: ur comfort and assurance had encouraged me alot... u r reading this but ur name is not mentioned: i am never really good with my memory but the fact that u r reading this and know me... it shows that u do care and u do bother... i may not remember ur name offhand now... but ur encouragements and affirmation i appreciate... this is also a good time to conclude my year... 2005 has been a year that i kinda straighten some thoughts... seen some things happen... felt pain and mourn... having pple close to me leave me just like tt... got accused but survived and learn to stand up for myself... the loneliest year but surviving it... knowing tt there are pple who are there... gave up hope on many things... learnt not to wait or expect... see tt if things come it is a bonus if not i m fine... i've learnt to numb myself... i somehow loathe this year, yet appreciate this year for maturing me in some ways and thoughts... come 1/1/2006 i will be posting my expectations and resolutions.. till then... merry christmas... and to all my frenz who consider me one... thanks for everything... really... celine dion - all by myself In Solitude at 1:51 am 0 shared in solitude | ||||||||||||