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The day i kinda dread is finally here... today i turn 20... i awaken with this feeling that things are no longer the same... something has changed... 20 years ago... i made my first cry bringing smiles to the faces of many... thinking back... 20 years had pass... how many smiles have i brought? how many cries? i dunno... Somehow i feel foreign in this familiar land... after 20 years... i dunno how far in life i had moved forth and how much impact i had made in the lifes of the people around me... i feel that i had wasted 20 years of my life... this year's birthday arrived with a heavy heart... happy birthday? i dunno... to me... this day is just like any other day... just tt today just make me older... something is happening in my circle of frenz... something tt i dunno... m i really close to them? they are to me... words of appreciation to: Ally: thanks for being there... for tolerating my nonsense and for always being an elder sister to me... this means a lot to me... especially when my elder brother is never like one to me... Tim: thanks for once loving me... thanks for ur consistent concern to me... u r the first guy to msg me and the onli within tt hour... thanks for remembering... it means alot to me... Douggy: thanks for sharing your life wif me... u r the first in the whole grp of frenz tt msged me... it may not be one the actual date but i know... given the circumstances... tt's the best u gave... ur appreciation had impacted me a lot... i teared when i read tt msg... Ronald: i m sorry for never being there when u need me... but thanks for still calling me kor... maybe i m not worthy... i dunno... the rest whom i know: sitting down here on the chair staring into the screen... i just cannot think of names... not because u mean nothing to me... just tt the list is pretty long... Koon, Eric, Melvin, Bryan, Ash, Yvonne and many many more... (hey a lot to type... spare me ok?) i wanna thnank you for involving me in ur life... for remembering my exisitence... for knowing my name and who i m... i may not be a good fren coz i may not be there... but u had reach into my heart and believe me... i care... The first thing tt had happen on my birthday really pissed me off... it is my birthday for crying out loud... i m sorry if i had made it sound tt way... but i had never really regretted knowing pple... i may say things like tt in fits of anger... but hey... i even called frenz bitch saying tt i never really wanna tok to them... but i still did... and they are still my frenz... u can never do more harm then they did... but still i accepted them... wad makes u think i wun... wadeva... thanks for the gift... i m still upset... it may stay for a while... but well... u gt urself to blame coz my mood in this period of the year is always the lowest... give me some time to cool down... sigh~ i'm sick... my dad never remembers my birthday... 1 thing nice though... 31 August 2005 8.32am Xueling's baby is born... so fast har... Landy Wen Lan - Zhu Wo Shen Ri Kuai Le In Solitude at 4:31 pm 0 shared in solitude | ||||||||||||