maystar * designs |
saw wu jun ru today at my work place... she bought gelato from out shop... filming in singapore for a show in hong kong i think... wanna take her photo... but she look very fierce... just now when she buy gelato... her face balck black... like owe her gelato dun give her like tt... but i guess she tired... tt's why no smile... hong kong to s'pore filming... things are better now... siew lan no longer have tt hatred in her eyes... left wif one project... term test ending soon (coz it is starting soon) and term break is starting.... although i wun get to enjoy it... will be rushing my last project: greenwave... i dunno how my granpa is now... will drop by the hospital on friday most prob... kinda scared of seeing my aunt coz i have nt settle the money stuff... nvm... wow day... haha... coz of wu jun ru... she look nice... and her other partner from hong kong... ana ctor i guess... kinda cute... heeheehee... and tangs today gt a lot of cute guys also... working at yakitori and pple walking up and down... jukebox[ywjx - tian kong] In Solitude at 12:47 am 0 shared in solitude Music fills my mind Emptiness fills my heart Happy i may seem But sadness deep inside Smiles i try displaying Tears i try hiding What you see now Isn't what it seems Surface you now see Come in, you willing? Beyond all that's displayed Into the real within Hiding my tears... Courage or cowardice? jukebox[YWJX-Tian Kong] In Solitude at 5:01 am 0 shared in solitude everything now suck... i m beginning to lose the motivation for life... everything has not much meaning to me now... i have already lost all rights to be angry, and to display emotion infront of my classmates... my grandpa is in a critical condition, having cardiac arrest a few days ago... and such... i have been eaither missin lessons or project meetings or coming very late... they dun really see the effort i put in.. coz wad they saw is my wrong... is the fact tt i had not been fulfillin my other duties... but when the duties are fulfilled at my expenses... it is onli right... i feel so wronged... i need my space as well... i need my rights to display my emotions as well... but i had no one to talk to... i guess i will just tone down and keep my comments and thoughts to myself... being too active sucks... it just rope in unnecessary stress and unhappiness to both me and the groupmates... SL is very unhappy with me... i can see it in her eyes... and she has begin to avoid me and will talk to be only when absolutely necessary... relationship with the pple ard me has just hit rock bottom... pple are unhappy but i dun blame them... it is me anyway for causing such unhappiness... i guess it is their misfortune knowing me... been having disturbing dreams as well about the supernatural... and it is kinda affecting me... making me think abt why these dreams actually occur... life suck... it really does... i m lost... confused... and i dunno where i m or where i wanna go from here... life has just got worse... and something tells me it wun be the end... jukebox [YWJX - Tian Kong] In Solitude at 4:28 pm 0 shared in solitude i m in the business of making pple not wanna come near to me... i dunno why... i always end up making pple stay away from me... i m tired... i had been giving hope, disappointed, given hope disappointed and really... i m on the verge of total surrender and giving up hope... the misery within me... the mixed feelings within me... who is there to listen and reach in... why is it tt i cannot find anyone for me? why is it tt i always end up spoiling and ruining the potential in pple? why is it tt i just m not able to keep pple by my side? wad is wrong wif me? these nice pple and i always find ways to make them not wanna draw closer... how i wish tt tmr nvr comes... how i wish tt i can just sleep and stay tt way... dreams are the only escape i have rite now... this world is too much to bear... so many things within but words cannot fully release it... the feelings overwhelms... the agony and saddness... who is there to understand... i m tired of hoping... my heart wans to die... but dunno how? who dares venture into my world? i dun deserve them anyway... i guess i will be able to get use to being alone... jukebox[lin fan - yi ge ren shen huo] In Solitude at 11:13 am 0 shared in solitude | ||||||||||||