| Solitude ~ A Personal World of My Own
|
| A world mixed with fact and fiction. Yet, a world where I am who I really am. Things you may not know can be found here. Look around and leave with a better understanding that my world is not as bright and colorful as it always seems. Enjoy the ride.
|
maystar * designs
|
Monday, June 20, 2005
formula 17
i bought the novel version of formula 17 and i loved it... watch it 5 times and read the book once thru... gonna find nie zi the novel... whoever has the serial... please let me know!!! i kinda feel lonely... in the book is a statement: when we are born, we are destined to to spend our lifetime searching for our soulmate, coz we are only born half... when will i find mine i wonder... i begin to feel like bai tie nan of the story... he believes his life is cursed and anyone with him will be cursed and therefore he always fear loving xiao tian until finally despite the fear, he decides to give in his all to love him... i feel the same as him coz i believe my life is somehow cursed... tt i m destined to be half and never complete... it feels to me tt it is an odd number and always will have one person who is the odd one out... and i m tt person... tis belief came abt not coz of fortune telling like him... but from wad i had experience so far... rejection over rejection over rejection... i feel like there is no one for me... coz everybody would wanna be frenz alone... which most of the time dun stay tt way... they always drift away... there are pple who is best we remain as frenz... there are pple whom i wanna bring it further... but he will think tt we are better off as frenz... and lookin back at my past relationships... i onli cause more pain in their life and not really bring joy to them... look at leong, look at tim, look at melvin... i mean... i can onli say i'm sorry but by being with me, u will go thru unnecessary pain tt i will bring u thru... so sometimes i do fear loving someone... coz normally the pple i love will go thru a lot of trouble... i wanna give up but i dun admit defeat... yet i m too tired to carry on...
sitting aone in this cold T334 computer lab... i feel so exhausted... so tired... i dunno wad i wan any more... i dunno so many things... my heart is as cold as the lab... my fingers are sore and numb coz of the cold... my heart the same... thereis so much within me but i dunno how to express it... i m lost...
In Solitude at 12:14 pm
|