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found out something... muahahha found this: Wasting another day Where are you when I needed you? Why did you leave when I feel empty? Why did you let go when I held on tightly Why did you go? You left me here all alone for myself Now I long for someone to come And take your place In this empty space in my heart Wandering around looking for someone Until I felt tired and gave up hope Finally decided to stop and sit And at that somewhere I begin to wait So here I am sitting here Wondering where all the time went Day by day and night bu night Hoping for someone close to come by There are people everywhere But no one around to make me glad How I wish there is someone around To change my life again I lont to feel what I felt To really be loved and touched I needed someone who is not the same Someone who will never go away Change me fill me and make me anew And turn my life into something meaningfuk Just like before I long to be With someone always there for me Someone plase take this first step And turn my life around again Or if no one's there I'll be here Wasting yet another day the very first 'poem i wrote'... then misplace it... and found it, edited and change the title... wanna see the original copy? Ripped the following from Kyo's blog Highlight in BOLD those that you did before! x smoked a cigarette x smoked a cigar x made out with a member of the same sex x been in love x been dumped x shoplifted x been fired x been in a fist fight x snuck out of parent's house x had feelings for someone who didnt have them back x been arrested x made out with a stranger x gone on a blind date x lied to a friend x had a crush on a teacher x skipped school x slept with a co-worker x seen someone die x been overseas x been on a plane x thrown up in a bar x set a part of myself on fire x eaten sushi x gone crazy at a concert x love someone or miss someone right now x laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by x made a snow angel x had a tea party x flown a kite x built a sand castle x gone puddle jumping x played dress up x jumped into a pile of leaves x gone sledding x cheated while playing a game x been lonely x fallen asleep at work/school x used a fake id x watched the sun set x felt an earthquake x touched a snake x been tickled x been robbed x been misunderstood x won a contest x ran a red light x been suspended from school x been in a car accident x had braces x felt like an outcast x eaten a whole tub of ice cream in one night x had deja vu x danced in the moonlight x hated the way you look x witnessed a crime x questioned your heart x been obsessed with post-it notes x squished barefoot through the mud x been lost x been to the opposite side of the country x swam in the ocean x felt like dying x cried yourself to sleep x played cops and robbers x recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers x sung karaoke x paid for a meal with only coins x done something you told yourself you wouldn't x made prank phone calls x laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose x caught a snowflake on your tongue x danced in the rain x written a letter to Santa Claus x been kissed under the mistletoe x watched the sun set with someone you care about x blown bubbles x made a bonfire on the beach x crashed a party x gone rollerskating x had a wish come true x worn pearls x jumped off a bridge x ate dog/cat food x told a complete stranger you loved them x kissed a mirror x sang in the shower x have a black dress x had a dream that you married someone x glued your hand to something x got your tongue stuck to a something metal x kissed a fish x worn the opposite sexes clothes x been a cheerleader x sat on a roof top x screamed/shouted at the top of your lungs x done a one-handed cartwheel x talked on the phone for more than 5 hours x stayed up all night x didn't take a shower for a week x pick and ate an apple right off the tree x climbed a tree x had a tree house/club house x are scared to watch scary movies alone x believe in ghosts x have more then 30 pairs of shoes x worn a really ugly outfit just to see what others say x gone streaking x played chicken x been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on x been told you're hot by a complete stranger x caught a fish then ate it x caught a butterfly x laughed so hard you cried x cried so hard you laughed x mooned/flashed someone x had someone moon/flash you x cheated on a test x have a Britney Spears CD x forgotten someone's name x slept naked x wanted to have sex with your boyfriend/girlfriend/crush x been obsessed with a band Original Quote: If you love someone, Set her free... If she comes back, she's yours, If she doesn't, she never was.... The New Versions..... Pessimist: If you love someone, Set her free ... If she ever comes back, she's yours, If she doesn't, as expected, she never was Optimist: If you love someone, Set her free ... Don't worry, she will come back. Suspicious: If you love someone, Set her free ... If she ever comes back, ask her why. Impatient: If you love someone, Set her free ... If she doesn't comes back within some time forget her. Patient: If you love someone, Set her free ... If she doesn't come back, continue to wait until she comes back ... Playful: If you love someone, Set her free ... * If she comes back, and if you love her still, set her free again, repeat * C++ Programmer: if(you-love(m_she)) m_she.free() if(m_she == NULL) m_she= new CShe; Animal-Rights Activist: If you love someone, Set her free, In fact, all living creatures deserve to be free!! Lawyers: If you love someone, Set her free, Clause 1a of Paragraph 13a-1 in the second amendment of the Matrimonial Freedom Act clearly states that... Bill Gates : If you love someone, Set her free, If she comes back, I think we can charge her for re-installation fees and but tell her that she's also going to get an upgrade. Biologist : If you love someone, Set her free, She'll evolve. Statisticians : If you love someone, Set her free, If she loves you, the probability of her coming back is high If she doesn't, your relation was improbable anyway. Schwarzenegger's fans: If you love someone, Set her free, SHE'LL BE BACK! Over possessive person: If you love someone don't set her free. HR specialist: If you love someone set her free by Offering her VRS and other benefits Then outsource her. MBA Graduate: If you love someone set her free instantaneously and look for others simultaneously Psychologist: If you love someone set her free If she comes back her super ego is dominant If she does'nt come back her id is supreme If she does'nt go, she must be crazy. 7 years into the relationship hypothetically Somnabulist: If you love someone set her free If she comes back it's a nightmare If she does'nt, you must be dreaming. Rhett Butler: If you love someone set YOURSELF FREE If she asks you why say you don't give a damn. ERP functional expert: If you love someone set her free If she comes back, map her into your system If she does'nt,carry out a gap-fit analysis Finance expert: If you love someone set her free If she comes back its time to look fresh loans If she does'nt, write her off as an asset gone bad. Marketing Expert: If you love someone set her free If she comes back she has brand loyalty If she does'nt, reposition the brand in new markets. jukebox[JJ - Chi Bang] In Solitude at 11:59 pm 0 shared in solitude sitting here in the middle of the lab at T321... i feel kinda alone and wif nobody... my classmates tt i tok to all have GEM or errands to run and i have to wait till 3 for them to be free to do my projects... been very tired of myself and many things ard me... school has become a routine and no motivation actually maybe except to see some cute guys while walking ard the school... and for days tt i have lessons wif year 1... guess who is shade and lessons wif 21/22... evaluate if desmond, keith and george is aj... keith and desmond... i m suspecting something... george is on and off leh... dunno... still stinging wif the formula 17 aftermath feeling... i wanna be attached... i wanna find my other half... but i guess... tt day will not ocme so soon... if ever... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
In Solitude at 1:06 pm 0 shared in solitude i bought the novel version of formula 17 and i loved it... watch it 5 times and read the book once thru... gonna find nie zi the novel... whoever has the serial... please let me know!!! i kinda feel lonely... in the book is a statement: when we are born, we are destined to to spend our lifetime searching for our soulmate, coz we are only born half... when will i find mine i wonder... i begin to feel like bai tie nan of the story... he believes his life is cursed and anyone with him will be cursed and therefore he always fear loving xiao tian until finally despite the fear, he decides to give in his all to love him... i feel the same as him coz i believe my life is somehow cursed... tt i m destined to be half and never complete... it feels to me tt it is an odd number and always will have one person who is the odd one out... and i m tt person... tis belief came abt not coz of fortune telling like him... but from wad i had experience so far... rejection over rejection over rejection... i feel like there is no one for me... coz everybody would wanna be frenz alone... which most of the time dun stay tt way... they always drift away... there are pple who is best we remain as frenz... there are pple whom i wanna bring it further... but he will think tt we are better off as frenz... and lookin back at my past relationships... i onli cause more pain in their life and not really bring joy to them... look at leong, look at tim, look at melvin... i mean... i can onli say i'm sorry but by being with me, u will go thru unnecessary pain tt i will bring u thru... so sometimes i do fear loving someone... coz normally the pple i love will go thru a lot of trouble... i wanna give up but i dun admit defeat... yet i m too tired to carry on... sitting aone in this cold T334 computer lab... i feel so exhausted... so tired... i dunno wad i wan any more... i dunno so many things... my heart is as cold as the lab... my fingers are sore and numb coz of the cold... my heart the same... thereis so much within me but i dunno how to express it... i m lost... In Solitude at 12:14 pm 0 shared in solitude For all you people who say, "I love you" when you have no clue what love is exactly Something to ponder upon... Are your palms sweaty, is your heart racing and is your voice caught within your chest? It isn't love, it's LIKE. You can't keep your eyes or hands off of her/him. It isn't love, it's LUST. Are you proud, and eager to show her/him off? It isn't love, it's LUCK. Do you want her because you know she's/he's thr? It isn't love, it's LONELINESS. Are you with her/him because it's what everyone wants?? It isn't love, it`s LOYALTY. Are you with her because she/he kissed you, or held your hand? It isn't love, it's LOW CONFIDENCE. Do you stay for her/him confessions of love, because you don't want to hurt her/him? It isn't love, it's PITY. Do you belong to her/him because the sight of her/him makes your heart skip a beat? It isn't love, it's INFATUATION. Do you pardon her faults because you care about her/him? It isn't love, it's FRIENDSHIP. Do you tell her/him every day she is the only one you think of? It isn't love, it's a LIE. Are you willing to give up all of your favorite things for her sake? It isn't love, it's CHARITY. ~*-*~ Does your heart ache and break when she's sad? Then it's LOVE. Do you cry for her/his pain, even when she's/he's strong? Then it's LOVE. Do her/his eyes see your true heart, and touch your soul so deeply it hurts? Then it's LOVE. Do you stay because a blinding, incomprehensible mix of pain and relation pulls you close and holds you to her/him? Then it's LOVE. Do you accept her/his faults because it's a part of who she/he is? Then it's LOVE. Are you attracted to others, but stay with her/him faithfully without regret? Then it's LOVE. Would you give her/him your heart, your life, your death?? Then it's LOVE. Now, if love is painful, and tortures us so, why do we love? Why is it all we search for in life? This pain, this agony? Why is it all we long for? This torture, this powerful death of self? Why? The answer is so simple cause it's...LOVE. It is such an addictive thing that even people who are not having it wish to experience it and share it with others as well. Love hurts our feeling, but it's also the reason our soul heal.jukebox[ jukebox[maroon 5 - she will be loved] In Solitude at 2:32 am 0 shared in solitude
personality tests by similarminds.com
personality tests by similarminds.com trait snapshot: messy, irritable, depressed, fragile, worrying, emotionally sensitive, does not like to lead, phobic, weird, suspicious, low self control, paranoid, frequently second guesses self, dependent, unproductive, introverted, weak, strange, unassertive, submissive, familiar with the dark side of life, feels invisible, rash, vain, anti-authority, heart over mind, low self concept, disorganized, not good at saving money, avoidant, daydreamer, unadventurous i suspect Keith or Tim (same person... dunno his name... the lecturer pronounce until i blur) is aj... the way he looks at Desmond sometimes... and me when i look at him... he sets my slarm ringing... already i suspecting desmond... now i suspect both of them are an item or knows abt each other or something... i'm sick, my sheep is sick... wad's wrong... sigh~ sch is fine if u r wondering... able to catch up... went to look for my CRS lecturer... tis is wad happen: me:hi ms khoo, i'm ur student.... khoo: i have never seen u before... me: if it is of any comfort... u will tmr khoo: tt is not funny me: i nvr meant for it to be khoo: ... first time met my lecturer i show her attitude... think she nt gonna like me... no more distinction for tis module... hahahaha jukebox[maroon 5 - she will be loved] In Solitude at 12:30 am 0 shared in solitude the third week of school and already i had chalked up 3 MCs... fever, recover, flu, recover and now... fever again... been feeling very tired and low and down...and also been spending a lot of time at home... being alone and at home with nth to do... i did a lot of thinking... i feel lonely... i know... i may be alone but never lonely and stuff... but i feel an emptiness within... and after spening so much time to look for someone to love and be loved and still can't find any... i begin to wonder... why? why can't someone accept me for who i m... why can't someone look beyond my skin and into my heart... why can't i find one who wun go... sorry you r not my type... it is just a nicer way of saying i m not as good lookin as they expect... i know... we all wan someone who is better lookin but does tt mean tt pple who are nt good lookin have no one to have and hold? i always wondered... when will we learn not to look at the surface but beyond tt, at the heart of someone... the inner beauty... m i gonna give up... i might... coz i m really tired... i just wanna be loved... is it too much to ask for? sometimes i actually wanna die when i turn 21... i somehow feel tt i dun really matter... i mean one loser is a lost to the world how? but i guess after all these whining i will move on... something light-hearted... 3rd week of school an i have missed a total of 1 1/2 weeks of classes... but everything is still managable... i still can do my tutorials... which is a good thing... went for the drama showcase and i kinda regret not being involved... they had a lot of fun and stuff but well i will get over it... the whole things was well done... i enjoyed myself during both showtime... esp. the second drama... after the minor changes to the script and nat and prinston protraying their role better... the show was much more enjoyable...esp with shane's music... things became so much better... but i feel i can do better... the role of kenny is nice... if there is a chance... i really would wanna do tt role... the first one had changes to... and i really m touched to see the script brought to life like tt... my efforts are not really wasted... coz simone did not really change my blocking... she just added to them... and the basic interpretation is still my interpretation... and she mentioned my name twice... muahahaha... but if i was involved my name would be on hte crew list... but well... it is ok... at least i know i was once involved and i did contributed to it... jukebox[maroon 5 - she will be loved] In Solitude at 5:44 pm 0 shared in solitude i guess it is the time of the month... really down now... i guess i can never get thru the idea tt pple must give me some recognision... i just cabn't stop pissing pple off... i hate my life... i m too tired... i really wanna let go of everything... i dun wanna live tis life anymore... something to gross u all out to distract u all... One morning around 5am 22 year old Susan DeLucci of Kittery, Maine, woke up with a painful need to urinate. At first she thought she had diarrhoea, but when she stood up out of bed, she realised that it was urinary pain. It was very similar to the feeling of having diarrhoea, just out the wrong hole. She wobbled to the toilet and upon sitting on it, her vagina erupted into the most horrific messy farting noise anyone has ever heard. In paralysing pain, Ms. DeLucci for the next few minutes continued to push and squirt out of her vagina a burning tide of wretch and filth while she gripped the sides of the toilet, white-knuckled. She was screaming wildly, and the neighbours called the police. When medics arrived they found Ms. DeLucci unconscious lying on the floor of her bathroom wearing nothing but her bathrobe. Running down her leg, was a stream of brown and green syrup. The medic had to transfer her to a stretcher, so he grabbed her left leg which was bent crossing her other leg, to straighten her out. She was lying there all twisted up. When he lifted her left leg to straighten her body out, he exposed her vagina at which point a creature, no larger than the tip of a finger wormed its way out of her genitals and landed on the floor with a wet popping sound. Shocked, the medic stared at the creature that was lying on the tile bathroom floor in a casing of mucous. It was a tiny mud shrimp and it sat there on the cold floor gasping for water while flipping itself back and forth. The horrified medic turned to the toilet as he felt the nausea setting in. When he put his face down into the toilet to puke what he saw was so horrific that to this day he cannot look into a toilet without convulsing. The entire toilet bowl was boiling with baby brown mud shrimp flipping and splashing at a furious pace. If you think that is bad - wait until you hear how it happened: Ms. DeLucci's death was the result of a combination of shock and severe head trauma. She stood up over the toilet in pain and when she saw what she had done, she went into shock and fell, smashing her head on the toilet and then on the floor. It is believed by police that two nights before the accident she had purchased a live lobster at a fish market. While lying in a tub, she gently inserted the creature's tail into her vagina to derive physical pleasure. At that point, she held a lighter under the creature's face causing it to flip its tail in a violent snapping motion. The medics found a lesbian porno video in the VCR and the TV was positioned on a table in front of the tub. The lobster was found in the kitchen garbage can wrapped in a paper bag. Traces of Ms. DeLucci's DNA were found on the lobster along with pubic hairs that had wedged themselves between the lobsters' tail joints. The lobster's face was lightly burned with the same fuel used in lighters. The lobster's digestive track and colon were found to be full of mud shrimp egg casings. Doctors believe that the lobster had eaten them (they are common in the water at fish markets and are usually harmlessly boiled to death) and the lobster had crapped them out into Ms. DeLucci's vagina when she was torturing it. Maine mud shrimp only take two days to gestate and Ms. DeLucci was only four days away from getting her period. Doctors believe that at that point of her menstrual cycle, her womb was the perfect PH balance to grow these mud shrimp, which are a much larger version of the popular "Sea Monkey" pets sold throughout the world. Overnight the eggs had hatched and the mud shrimp began doubling in size every ten minutes!!! You can imagine the pain she was in when she woke up that morning and gave birth to well over 1,000 mud shrimp in her toilet......... So, guys, don't ever play play masterbating with a LOBSTER ok!!! jukebox[sun yan zi silent all these years] In Solitude at 10:40 pm 0 shared in solitude wednesdays sucks... mainly becoz i onli have 1 lesson... 8-10... tis is bad... i mean i wake up early to go to school onli to end it at 10 and have no where to go... at least for today.. dun feel like going home... wun be working coz charmed is on and i dun wanna miss season 7, the rumoured last season of charmed... so wednesday is boring... bright side... i finally got to know the name of the guy i have been observing... George and Desmond... desmond in my class and george in the buddy class... hope it would be fun working with this class... gt a guy name Keith whom looks and sound fmailiar but have no recollection who he is... and being new to this class... i fear i may not be able to find a project grp to work with... see told u this sucks... 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