maystar * designs |
woke up real early today (slept at abt 6+ 7am after a sms chat wif eric) at abt 9? dunno why was having a massive emotional breakdown... picked up my little white book ( a book tt i use to record emotions when i cannot go online or dun feel like posting something online... wanna read it? ask for permission) and wrote a short entry which i decided to type out here... I want all these to end... if only i had gone with her 14 years ago... I would choose to die with her then... then maybe... no i'm sure people's lifes will be less miserable & agony much lesser... i feel jinxed... i feel as if i'm a burden... Mum... i promise i will be good... will you come back? i hate you... why did you have to leave me here to go thru all these alone... you could have solved my agony and people's misfortune by bringing me along then... things would be much better... no one's life was made better because of my existance... only worse... mummy... i will be good... i promise... please come back... maybe if you have not go... things would be better... if only you are still around... i won't be naughty... really... i promise... went to mount vernom for qing ming... went to to sleep.. got up watched channel 5... nth much... rot but did not die... sigh~ jukebox [diana ross if we hold on together] In Solitude at 12:23 am 0 shared in solitude |
had a long talk wif eric last nite... somehow... it has been a long time since we last chatted and amazingly... we were able to talk... coz normally long time no talk can lead to impossiblt to talk... but fell asleep halfway... in the midst of the conversation... Pope John Paul II breathed his last and bid farewell to the world... ending his 26 year reign in the world's smallest country...