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everything is not well for me... this sucks... i decided tt since i m not passing my ECT/P i m not going for it... and now need to arrange to meet my director so tt i can take my exams and onli fail ECT/P if not... it is repeating the WHOLE semester... crap... sigh~ but 2 good things... my Drama Appreciation module final project is a half hr production of which i m the director... haha... finally can do someting i like... DIRECTIONS!!! yeah~ and my Greenwave project got selected for round 2 of presentation... 1 step nearer to the competition... hoping to bring home some money... read this article at sgboy... real nice... and 2 things i really agree with... we dun devour anything wearing pants coz we have taste and pink is not exactly my fav color... Get Your Facts, Straight! by Fresnik Tan If I get a dollar every time I have to tell another straight acquaintance that my favourite colour is not pink. Don't get me wrong. I have nothing against pink. But the colour makes me feel too fluffy. But along with my sexual orientation comes a host of stereotypes which I must fend off - much like flies over an open wound. So, for the convenience of future encounters, I've decided to create a handy list of sorts, to re-educate the ill-informed straight folks out there. Our favourite colour is NOT NECESSARILY PINK! I'd thought I'd just get that out of the way first... We do not wear make-up and sway our hips as we walk. Well, not all of us anyway. Being gay has frequently been equated to being effeminate. The typical hand-swisher is the image du jour when it comes to imagining a gay individual. The truth is, yes there's a percentage of us who love their boas and sequins, but there's also a group of us who's into hiking, sports and roughing it out. We have preferences too, ya know! One of the most common fear of straight people when they find out about a friend being gay, is that they might get molested by the individual. Most of us might have experienced or seen the reaction of certain army guys when they find out one of their colleague is a homosexual. Quips like, 'Don't rape me in my sleep!' and 'Must shower with underwear now.' Are totally uncalled for. My point - we have preferences too! We are not doing a Desperate Housewives here, and we most certainly do not want to get it on with anything that has something in between their legs. We do not all wear tight tees and go to the gym. At the other end of the spectrum, we have our gym bunnies who dedicate the whole of their waking non-working hours to the art of beautifying the shrine that is their body. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but this image is fast replacing the other as this millennia's epitome of a gay man. From queer queen to brainless bunny, I'm not about to call it an advancement. Luckily, the truth is far from this 'branding' the media has helped in tagging to us. We have our bookworms and homebodies, our athletes and our artists, to flesh out the community, so please remember that. And this leads me to my next point... We do not just go for hunks. Yes, they're really nice. Hunks I mean. Those with chiseled features, buff bods and good grooming goes down well with most of us, but at the end of the day, we will usually have a preference for someone else to settle down with. We have those who are into chubs or skinnies, tall giants and rugged dwarfs, aristocratic scholars or sun-beaten sportsmen. You name it, we have someone who loves them. Being gay doesn't necessarily mean we have taste. Stop asking me for fashion advice. I for one can't differentiate a Hugo suit from a Domanchi one without looking at the label. Ask me what goes better with black, pinstripes or tartan and I'll just say, 'Whatever's comfortable'. The media has relegated gay people to being trendsetters and followers, heavily involved in the creative industries. But the truth is it doesn't gift everyone of us with a sense of taste. Too often I've seen many gay men wear the most ridiculous and distastefully loud garbs out on the streets and misconstrue some of the stares to be that of an appreciative one. If you want to be fashionable, do your homework. It's not just about sex, drugs and rock and roll. Some of my friends believe that I dance and drink my weekend away, hopping from one spot to another, maybe even from club to spa to finish my drunken ride with a sexual escapade. Imagine how they widen their eyes in disbelief when I tell them that I only club about once a month and they are usually at straight venues. And I've never stepped into a gay spa before. Not that I'm being an elitist and snubbing gay businesses but it's so much more convenient for me to go to a regular club, as opposed to making my way down to Tanjong Pagar just to see the same old crowd and faces. ONSs don't really work for me, as I admit I'm a stubborn romantic. Which brings me to... Yes, long term relationships can and do happen. If there's myth that has a bigger hold than any other, both in the straight faction as well as in ours, it's the fact that long term relationships (if not lifelong ones) do happen. And I have living examples around me. Though some will throw the statistics at me and say that the rate of failure is high, my gauntlet to them is this - if you let the statistics convince you, then you'll never try with all your heart. And if you never commit your whole being into a relationship believing it will work, how could it? So I conclude my little (though definitely not exhaustive) list of common myths about gayhood with one resounding reiteration... I don't like PINK! source: http://www.sgboy.com/articles/022405C01.php jukebox[yuan wei jue xing guo qi] In Solitude at 6:29 pm 0 shared in solitude ok.. sorry... i was just whining ant the nobody reads this thingy... i thank you all for your continous support in the past months this blog has been ard... and dun worry... i will try to update this thing as soon as i can... in the meanwhile... enjoy the music that never seem to have change b4... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz oh ya... i watched my date wif vampire 3 box 1... nice... but expensive... sigh~ real broke... In Solitude at 1:04 pm 0 shared in solitude i m having a weird feeling tt nobody reads my blog anymore... well is it better this way... i dunno... all i know is tt i dun feel significant anymore... nodoby tags my board... well i dun reply anyway... "p feeling tired... but not sleepy... sigh... 12 verses by tmr... memorised... sigh... In Solitude at 1:23 am 0 shared in solitude shit... the presentation was very badly done... i thought it is ok to not have cost... but sigh~ too bad... took cab to sch again... at the rate i m spending... i might as well declare myself bankrupt... did not sleep at all... stupid mosquitoes... they refuse to stop biting me... itch the whole night... did not even rest a single bit... and guess where they sting? my sole... the part where it is hardest to scratch coz the itch will cover the whole sole... someone suggest a way to get rid of the mosquitoes and u will be my greatest hero... haha zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz... sure to sleep in lessons later~ jukebox[i will follow him (someone is playing it very loudly...)] In Solitude at 12:51 pm 0 shared in solitude i m going into a mode of depression... long story... ain't gonna elab... but it really hurts to see BL like this now... very zombie like... i shouldn't have ask him to share his prob... he wanted to keep it to himself... but i insisted on him saying... now he is half dead... i'm not a counsellor... i can't even give good advice... i dun practise wad i preach... i should not have tried... i ought to be shot actually... who am i? someone tt is the owrld dun have... it would be a better place... i'm retreating into my solitude... my only comfort... my world of my own... this reality sucks... coz i suck... In Solitude at 1:29 am 0 shared in solitude did i mention how much my dad ought to just do wad he is asked to... my class ask me to buy yu sheng for today... i know of giant's yuseng abt $16 for abt 15 pple... so i only need to buy 2...but i was in the middle of a meeting... so i can't buy... i told my sister to do it... only to hear her say she has no money... then i told her to call home to get someone to buy it... my bro REFUSE to stop using the computer (i doubt he is doing work... he never does his work on the main comp... only on his laptop... and i heard he was using the main...) and my father just called and said... buy tmr... 7 am got open... so today i went to giant... close... cold storage close... ntuc... no stock... so bleah... i took a cab to paya lebar (on my father's suggestion) and shop and save was open... but no stock again... then i managed to buy it from 7-11 10.80 for 6 pple... i bought 2 coztt's all they have... get to sin siong (i think tt is how u spell it) to buy 2 more at 13.80 for 6 pple... so i got 4 boxes... all these while the cab is waiting... by the time i get to school... i already spent $20 on my cab... only to hear my class say they think it is too ex... and they only wan 3 boxes instead... so fine... they onli pay me not more than 40 although i spent almost 50 on the stuff and 20 on my cab... i blew this month's allowance and a littleof nex month... no money for this month... gee... wif fathers like tt... who needs enemies... i mean just go buy something for ur son... it is no as if ur son wun pay u back... gee... real pissed wif him... wasted so much of my money... really feel like strangling him... "it opens tomorrow at 7am... buy tomorrow..." "i m sure they wil sell it there" F! not gonna make him eat up his words... not gonna let him pay too... just gonna do the same thing to him... not helping buy thngs.. ask him to do things himself... make empty assurance... (all these is said inthe fit of anger and may not be done...) ok... we did had fun eating in the tutorial room today and just talking... Angel dun sound so harsh on me and is willing to talk to me... normally she will send rose to talk to me... the new structure is out... i was wrong... ca is the one wif out sheeps... not me... but my sheeps very challenging... sigh... not gonna elab more... this is my 80th post and i m sitting here in T344 typing... prior tothis... i managed to get onto fridae and sgboy... but did notsurf coz it seem a little laggy...gonna send the hearts tonight... then rush my report... so many things to do so little time... nothing much toda actually... to think of it.. apart from those... nothing had happened... m very tired though... could not sleep... and i actually can go to schol ontime... if my dad had bought the yu sheng for me... sigh~ jukebox[yuan wei jue sing duo yu] In Solitude at 3:41 pm 0 shared in solitude This is my 79th post... is is getting fun... haha suddenly CNY is over... a couple of upsetting things along the way this year's collection is bad... by the time i finish with my payments of various stuff (tt is urgent) i m left with... NOTHING! no money left... ZERO... MEI YOU!!! sigh~ i need money... went out for steamboat wif ally, suat and CJ and stead... wah... CJ also can find a guy tt is not bad lookin... from malaysia... and also nice to him... wad abt me... and to make matters worse...today is valentine's day... the onli comfort i have is tt i m going out wif BL for a while later... wad made me angry is CJ... wah... he said tis " D is now single... very desperate... taste also very low... u sure can make it one" i was like... u trying to say i m bad lah... wah liew... F lah... today got meeting... later gt re-structuring announcement... from wad i heard so far... i m gussing the new structure to be as follows: CL-Ja Core: Al, Ca, Myself Shepherds: Ja-Kal, DY and Ca-Kel, John, YX dunno m i rite or not... ut pretty much prepared for this structure... sigh... maybe i should go back to my old church.. i dunno... now slacking in comp lab... got back one paper.. 71% for building services... getting back building materials later... hope can pass... sigh... gotta go... time for class... whine later maybe.. In Solitude at 12:37 pm 0 shared in solitude This is my 78th post... and the main still showing 58... wonder when will my other 20 post be shown... or accounted for... suddenly... it is feburary... kinda surprised at how time flew... now doing nth... just wanna make sure i stay awake till tmr morning to take my test... missed alot of test (2 out of 4) and now not gonna take the chance... gonna pass all my modules except construction tech... coz i know i wun pass... so others gonna make sure i pass... then wehn me extra year come... it will be very relaxed... hahaha... not gonna sleep tonight... then gonna pei Jerm to swim then going to meet someone... new... haha... ok... just frens nia... really... coz not say i heart die liao... but tt i just dun wanna carry on... wrote a poem sometime back... and just found it... Lonely Eye All alone in a busy corner Looking at people as they make their way Together with them are lifely partners With many things to laugh at and say Sitting right here , I begin to wonder Searching so long, it's still far form me When will it come the company i desire The person i long that will set me free Curious eyes stared as i sat and pondered With all the people passing by When is the day I'm with my other Looking at another lonely eye (c) Tim 290504 but well tt was long ago... now... i m kinda 'sin ru zhi xu shui" heart like still waters... not in expectancy anymore... if it comes... it is a bonus... ig not... then... i'm ok... jukebox[bette midler the rose] In Solitude at 1:58 am 1 shared in solitude | ||||||||||||