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After a long weekend with my birthday being part of ... I am here...feeling a little down again...
The 19 years of my life has been pretty much screwed up... and now... honestly... I dun care how pple think of me anymore... I know my past is not exactly a clean one... but so? I really am trying to change... why is it that pple dun really bother abt this... but then again... I dun care anymore... I know tt I was a very loose guy and had many erotic experiences and encounters but tt was in the past... can't pple see tt I m trying to change... can't they give me another chance... wadeva happens to opportunities to pple who wanna change... why can't they trust tt i have the capability to love? This 19th birthday suck... it is once in a lifetime... but it suck... no one was by my side during this birthday... no frenz, no family... nobody... am I really so detestable? But maybe I deserve it... after all I ain't a good guy... and I ain't a good fren... the times when frenz show their concern and their warmth, I did not appreciate it... they are always there for me... but me? I was never there for them... I even make stupid and insensitive jokes... there are sooo many regrets in my life... m I actually worthy of frenz? I dun think so... I pretty much deserve to die in loneliness... in my own solitude... This mask... too painful to put on... yet I dun wan it off... I hate myself... Jukebox[melissa manchester don't cry out loud] In Solitude at 3:26 pm 0 shared in solitude | ||||||||||||