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suddenly feeling low...and well was reading some blogs and wanna cheer them up...but juz feel like so fake...askin pple to cheer up and dun think too much but here i m thinkin too much and not cheeirng up...wadeva...
was reflecting on my life...and i was wondering if there is a reason why my frenz r rather seasonal... as in they can be quite close to me now...then drift away...then close again...and sometimes after they drift...they stay there... the conclusion: it's all my fault do i treat my frenz as sincerely as they treat me... do i ever thought of how they feel... sometimes i can be seen as a nice guy...but as i reflected... i feel so hypocritical... i feel so fake...as if i m living a 2 lives in one... i feel tt i have let down so many pple ard me... and also offend many more ard me... my interpersonal skill sucks... i really think tt way...which is why my circle of confidant is so limited... they r the few who had bear wif my nonsense and decided tt it is not tt bad to have another nuisance in their lives and accepted me for who i m... i really feel like a trouble maker... a nuisance... somebody who is not worth anything becoz i deserve to be shot dead in the first place... yes it is the low self esteem talking again...but i have a reason to... sigh... lookin at all the pple whom i know..and if the are still as close as they use to be... i need a new hp coz the space is too little... and most of them are nice guys...juz tt i dunno how to control this useless mouth of mine or this stupid character sometimes tt i end up pissing some of them off and from frenz to acquaintances... wadeva... it's all my fault... for those who is still there..thanks for being there.. i m a nuisance yet u r still there for me... thanks a million... feeling depress again...dun ask me why...juz feeling depress and tired.. had been missing so many lessons i think i wil be debarred from the exams again... sigh...useless me... so tired till i have a few tut due but not submitted... a few MC not submitted and i guess i deserve another detained sem coz i m lookin for trouble and i ought to be shot dead anyway... wadeva... juz wish i will never make it pass 18 (which means i have to die within 23 days...) or maybe die tonight or something and spare everyone the misery and make this world a better place... jukebox[nothing...no mood for music] In Solitude at 2:24 am 0 shared in solitude | ||||||||||||