maystar * designs |
feeling a little better now so i juz do a little accounting of why i did not update last nite... i woke up quite late yesterday... went to munz b'day at his bro chalet and met xiang and crowd... halfway went to buy cake for munz... after tt... i decided not to go home and spend the night out wif munz and xiang and jes... started wif ghost story session which ended up as joke sharing session... cat selling coke... doing pole dancing for publicity... buddy systems and sleeping in musical instrument... bleah... the whole nite instead of freakin ourselves out... we ended up laugin out guts out... it was fun...then got home at abt 10am but cannot sleep coz of construction... i juz lie down there...and let my mind drift... but still cannot sleep until abt 2+pm...woke up at 6+pm coz paternal grams called and started to whine abt my sis... after tt, while trying to talk some sense into her she got agitated... i got agitated and said some real nasty thing to her... and we started to quarrel... but coz the quarrel is gettin a little too loud i decided to close the door... but i close the door a little too hard...so my neighbour started to bang her door (btw..this is not the first time... not to mention the countless ights when u can hear her tv even at the ligt landing and her errie laughter in the middle of the nite due to the tv watching) she later went to the corridor to broadcast the situation... saying tt we are trying to scare her to death and tt we are treating our neighbours like ghost and tt we r uncivilised, uneducated pple... when i open the door later to go downstairs to get the letters, i heard wad she said...but wanna ignore her... yet she juz got so loud tt i can her her even at the life landing and i got a little pissed and we started to quarrel... half hour later... she seem to be losing her thoughts and not knowing wad to say she keep saying... ok let's forget this and calm down... i dun wanna be trouble maker and quarrelsome... i m not one who go ard and quarrel wif others... and well since she lost and wanna save some dignity... i let her off the hook...the next time... i wun...coz my tolerence has a limit...and she juz went over tt limit...
took 2 test after a series of disconnection and reconnection of my internet... it is indeed getting cranky...  Specter: A specter is an imprint of one who once lived. They are pale- near transparent- beings who wander the earth. Your head is often in the clouds. You daydream and try to escape so much that your body is merely a shell traversing the earthly plane while your soul is worlds away. What Mythological Creature Are You (Many Results and Beautiful Pics) brought to you by Quizilla  Poseidon ?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ?? brought to you by Quizilla gonna go to the beach to cool down further... someone send me this in my msn... makes a lot of sense... but honestly... the post was not meant for me..but for a fren tt we call dear... i think u know who u r... Emotions. Definitely a curse. A curse to humanity.Emotions that stirs up wars after wars. Feeling, emotions, empathy, sympathy. The 7 Sins. What would life be without emotions? Robots roaming around the world? You and I probably wont be here ranting about the curse of humanity. Yet again, it is emotions that makes us human. A friend used to tell me that the seven world wonder is the ability to feel, to smell, to see, to hear, to taste, to laugh, and to love. I tried to be a emotionless brat but I just can't. I'm just human. Whether we want it or not, we are only human. We are born with emotions and feelings. Live with it, or drown in your eternal sorrows. Life goes on whether you like it a not. Move on. Until the day you get tired of saying how useless you are in love and how life has no meaning, I wont stop throwing life experiences of mine to wake you up. to that same fren...we all go thru pain... the difference between sorrowful pple and cheerful pple is tt cheerful pple may whine, grumble, complain, cry and throw temper... but after tt they get over it... and move on... while sorrowful pple wallow in self pity... easier said than done i know... but it is a learning process tt we must continually attempt... it may come back one day... but learn to put it down again and move on... jukebox[celest chong free] In Solitude at 11:50 pm 0 shared in solitude sigh... today is a real bad day... did not meet ally for my i/c... quarrelled wif my sis over some stupid matters... seeing my brother's f-ed up attitude to the family matters, quarrel wif my neighbour... sigh... my sis had been involved in some serious financial matters and i had to take lead... both my grams blasted me fr her wrongdoings... i asked my brother wad he can do coz he is the oldest son...then he was like' nothing...wad can u do' and he went on playing his game... my neighbour was banging the door coz i closed the door a little to hard then she went to the corridor and started scolding the family and stuff... being pissed off wif all these stuff and bad mood since this morning... i went out and started to quarrel wif her after half and hour... she gave up and wanna stop it and bleah... wadeva.. loser... sigh... i m really tired... i m not the oldest... the birthright is not mine... the authority is not suppose to be in my hands... my dad is not doing much... it is up to my brother to do it... why m i doing it? the person who is suppose to be standing up is him... not me... the person to pick up the pieces is him not me... he enjoys himself... going out, have fun, no worries abt the family be'coz he doesn't care...and i have to clear the shit he left behind... i have to do his dirty job and he got to enjoy the privillage of the birthright... i m sick and tired...but if i dun do it...who will... my grams is old and weak... she is workin very hard... how i wish my bro would be more sensible... is it too much to expect from a 21 year old... to take the initiative to share the burden so tt his younger siblings can have a less stressful life... esp when i had done it for him since my mum's death and when my dad decided that he need not care so much abt us... 13 years... and i thought him turning 21 would mean i can return the burden to him and take a backseat and relax and rest... but no... it doesn't seem possible... to think of it... my life sucks... i can't keep my sis in check, i can't stand up for the family... i dun even have control over wad i wanna do coz grams is having a tight control over my life and all this responsibilities tt my brother refuse to take up is tying me up... i have no life... i can onli whine and cry... i m not as strong as pple see me as... i also wan rest, comfort, company...someone to turn to... mum... i miss you... i really do... i wan u here... i wan ur comfort...ur assuring hand... ur hug... i m tired of taking charge... why did u have to throw me this job in the first place... why did u trust me... why must u tell me to help grams in lookin after the family... my not my bro... i m tired... i really dun wanna do it any longer... i dun wanna cry but i can't stop... this is not wad i wan... sigh... jukebox[walking in the rain] In Solitude at 10:10 pm 0 shared in solitude i slept real late last nite...at abt 5.30am... my internet refuse to connect last nite... and thus causing me to post onli now... i wanna get a new comp... sigh... yesterday was a interesting day coz i missed 2 teachings and 1 meeting due to sleeping... woke up in time for service... then went to meet ally jie and some other frenz... caught the last train to amk wif her to meet her stead and then he drove me home... then she called me... my i/c is wif her!!! must get it back tmr... then i sat down wif dad... after a 2hr plus talk with my dad... i actually feel comforted... it has been a long time since i talked to my dad, sharing my thoughts and feelings... he also bare his heart and in some moments, his eyes actually turned red... my dad is a nice guy... juz tt he doesn't really show it most of the time... in times of intimate contact can i see his concern for my brother and sister... i juz hope tt my brother will reconcile wif my dad... he told me of the vows he made to my late mother and how he worried abt the family (esp. my sis and grams)... wad touched me the most is when he shared abt his regrets and foolishness... i enjoyed talking to him... of coz... we do wad i do best...side track...which included my course of study... how the government is run... of how our cost of living is so high tt our standards of living is compromise and blah... while he makes his decision (which is the main reason why he spoke to me at first) i hope and pray tt it will be the best for both families... suddenly... i miss my mum... i really do... woke up real late today... at abt 4... then went for a little blog surfing... and sigh... i actually missed out so much in my fren'z lifes... and also the movie wif ark and crowd... i wanna ctach it again coz i find the show kinda nice... but wadeva... i mean i catch it already... i can't expect them to wait for me to watch it again wif them... so i decided... douggy... u r in tt list... gonna rush off for munz b'day liao... feeling a little down but guess i shan't speak abt it here... wll pple have their own problems anyway... *digs up book* i guess i just write it there... and for those who dunno yet... i will be in JB from 4-6 June... looking for me??? toooooooooooo bad... heehee... try best not to miss me ya? take care my darlings and catch up wif u when i m back in s'pore... jukebox[utada hikaru first love piano version] In Solitude at 5:01 pm 0 shared in solitude yet another day has pass... i woke up at abt 5 today... had a long sleep... heehee... wonder how m i gonna survive the sch term when i have to wake up 2.5 hrs b4 the actual lesson time... if lecture at 8 means i have to wake up by 5.30...sigh... but i have decided sp and i will have to stick thru it... nth much happened today coz i woke up sooo late... but still tired...so will sleep early today... rip this off my old blog... Which one will you choose? A group of children were playing near two railway tracks, one still in use while the other unused. Only one child played on the unused track, the rest on the operational track. The train came, and you were just beside the track interchange. You could make the train change its course to the unused track and save most of the kids. However, that would also mean the lone child playing by the unused track would be sacrificed. Or would you rather let the train go its way? Let's take a pause to think what kind of decision we could make. Most people might choose to divert the course of the train, and sacrifice only one child. You might think the same way, I guess. Exactly, I thought the same way initially because to save most of the children at the expense of only one child was rational decision most people would make, morally and emotionally. But, have you ever thought that the child choosing to play on the unused track had in fact made the right decision to play at a safe place? Nevertheless, he had to be sacrificed because of his ignorant friends who chose to play where the danger was. This kind of dilemma happens around us everyday. In the office, community, in politics, the minority is often sacrificed for the interest of the majority, no matter how foolish or ignorant the majority are, and how farsighted and knowledgeable the minority are. The child who chose not to play with the rest on the operational track was sidelined. And in the case he was sacrificed, no one would shed a tear for him. Someone once said he would not try to change the course of the train because he believed that the kids playing on the operational track should have known very well that track was still in use, and that they should have run away if they heard the train's sirens. If the train was diverted, that lone child would definitely die because he never thought the train could come over to that track. Moreover, that track was not in use probably because it was not safe. If the train was diverted to the track, we could put the lives of all passengers on board at stake! And in your attempt to save a few kids by sacrificing one child, you might end up sacrificing hundreds of people. While we are all aware that life is full of tough decisions that need to be made, we may not realise that hasty decisions may not always be the right one wad did u choose? jukebox[my date with a vampire 2 ost jia ru zhen de zai you yue hui] In Solitude at 8:47 pm 0 shared in solitude before my internet gets cranky again... quickly update this thing... today had a long day... it all started wif the alarm ringing at 8 am(ark: i dun have fren who will sms me... sad...only got alarm...) and i wash up...ready to meet my kor for a movie... then the most unfortunate thing happened... grams called and ask me to go take fish she bought from market for my other grams... and my brother rufuse to resurrect to run the errand... and by the time i got back wif the fish... i m running late... finally met my kor 1 hr later then appointed time due to some emergency only he and i knows...and if anyone else knows... i know who to point my finger at... caught day after tomorrow (sorry ark... watch wif u another day...enjoy it wif fuzionz!!!) and i seriously think the cinema deliberately lower the temperature for the effect of the show... but it is a nice show... should go watch it... really... after tt...met wif andi and ate lunch wif them... and went to meet dr elliot for my dental appointment... i miss her... been so long (belive or not... i really do... she is more than my dentist...) suppose to watch movie after tt but andi gotta rush off for some work... so... next time... still no one watch troy wif me... vacancy still open...who wan??? no movie, so i hang out wif kor (coz my di REFUSE to meet me... no lah... he not free) and then he went towelclub while i hang ard in raffles city... bought some stuff at the marketplace and went home... reach home in time for the chinese news... cannot watch AMI coz grams insisted in the news... so since then been trying to get online... guess wad... juz did...haha... but nvrtheless watch AMI from 11 onwards... still like jasmine alot... but sigh... saw something quite funny also...one of the sms sent in during AMI: fantasia looks like a potato with voice...haha... expected diana to win coz her boie nicer but it is ok... paula is rite... 70 000 (or 700 000... not really paying attention) audition and now in final 2... they already won... so did the final 12... u guys did a great job... waiting for AMI4...haha... so now... i will post this and get back to my surfing... sigh... didi went offline liao... so sad... no one to bully "p jukebox[ah sang ye zi] In Solitude at 12:28 am 0 shared in solitude got this mail from a fren... it was in chinese... so now i will try to translate it...here goes a little quiz for u which will give u a diff outlook to life... you are now alone in a dangerous jungle which was never explored... along with you are five animals which u brought along...tiger, monkey, dog, peacock and an elephant... you are forced to abandon one animal at a time... in order from first to last... which animal would u abandon first... the answers to the quiz... wad would u abandon in times of trouble and difficulties... tiger: desire for money and power monkey: your offsprings dog: your frenz peacock: your other half (partner) elephant: parents what? i m not who would abandon my partner in times of difficulties... choosing to abandon the peacock was be'coz it is one animal that cannot help me... it juz doesn't link... i tried the quiz on many of my frenz... and they gave me the same reaction when the answers were given... we concluded that the original writer of this quiz is a little abnormal to give this connection... one day, while on a call with a fren, this quiz came into my mind and i decided to ask him the same quiz... after thinking for a long time... this was his answer: monkey, tiger, elephant, dogs, peacock... he is the onli one who would abandon the peacock last... feelin very curious... i asked him why and his reply was: of all the animals, the peacock is least capable to protect itself, how could u abandon it and leave it to defend themselves in a dangerous jungle? the revelation struck me... in our choices, we always see wad other pple could do for us but seldom do we question wad we can do for others... ~end~ ok...wad u think... i think it is quite meaningful...was askin a fren... why would the writer use a helpless animal to represent our lover...his reply was that when he means the most to you, you will always think of him... wanna help him and be by his side, as if he needs u to be there... then i told him...the fact is that u need him by ur side more than he needs you... jukebox[s.h.e hui dou kai hao le] In Solitude at 1:03 am 0 shared in solitude yet another rotting day... slept at 3am last nite... and was awaken by my kor who ask me out for a movie... he sms me to meet at 3...and when he called at 2.30 to check where i was... i juz woke up... sigh... juz no fate to watch it wif him... maybe next time lor... after all there is always a tomorrow... hmm wad if tomorrow got some natural disaster like the show... hmmmmm.... bleah... nth to do now lor... will check out the forums later... gonna play the bush game first... quite interesting...maybe u guys should try it... it is abt the bush administration...funny and lame... it has a lot of insights to his office and reign... www.bushgame.com try it... suddenly feel like pinching aaron didi's face... dunno why... *pinches cheek* sooooo cute~... jukebox[enya adiemus] In Solitude at 11:12 pm 0 shared in solitude was trying to add the comments page... kept screwing it up... thanks to ark who came to rescue again... u know... as a computer idiot... i juz cannot do anything rite... sigh... but thank God for frenz... i really think i bother him too much... Ark... i owe u one... lunch or dinner on me one day... but not too ex ok? no $$$... "p is ark's bro utt... coz sound similiar... *everybody starts to freeze as crows fly around* ok... sorry... jukebox[ah sang ye zi] In Solitude at 1:02 am 0 shared in solitude it is finished...i can say it wif conviction... suddenly feel like Christ... on the cross said "it is finish" and He breath His last... feel the accomplishment of doing up my blog a second time... this time round wif the help of his crunchy highness... the ark... thanks for all the help... and sorry for all the trouble... so today got 2 major accomplishments 1) able to clean up my bed till i can see the matress... 2) fixing my blog to something SOOOOOOO cool... can't stop smiling... bleah... now i gt 3 blogs... but should be mainly using onli 2... lj maybe once in a while to keep it running..coz i wanna use it to read locked entries... *sinister laughter* heehee... cool blog skin... *pride sips in* see i so smart... hahahaha i like the song in ark's blog... jukebox[the observatory this sad song] In Solitude at 11:54 pm 0 shared in solitude I have decided... to move livejournel account to blogspot... more space to explore and stuff... so... while i work at it... bear wif me... In Solitude at 7:10 pm 0 shared in solitude | ||||||||||||